,my ,weird] ,s*ool _?#b
    ,mr4 ,h>rison ,is ,emb>rass9'6


             ,dan ,gutman



            ,9 #a ,volume
         ,brl ,pages t#a-t#b1
             p#a & #a-#ei
        ,pr9t ,pages #a-b#ajf



       ,sponsor$ & ,pres5t$ by
         ,am]ican ,ac;n ,fund
         = ,bl ,*n & ,adults
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           www4ac;nfund4org


   ,produc$ at ,na;nal ,brl ,press
             www4nbp4org           t#a
,text copy"r ^c #bjaa by ,dan ,gutman

,publi%$ by ,h>p],coll9s ,*n's ,books1
a divi.n ( ,h>p],coll9s ,publi%]s1
#aie ,broadway1 ,new ,york1 ,,ny
#ajjjg4

,,isbn #igh-#j-#jf-#aifiai-#e

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,to ,na?aniel ,lewis













                ,3t5ts

#a4 ,s*ool = ,cavem5 """""""""""""" #a
#b4 ,ni<t ( ! ,liv+ ,t1*]s """""""" #i
#c4 ,big ,nose """"""""""""""""""" #ai
#d4 ,on ! ,fritz """"""""""""""""" #bi
#e4 ,mr4 ,h>rison's ,9v5;n """"""" #ch
#f4 ,! ,tru? ,ab ,mr4 ,h>rison """ #df
#g4 ,! ,weirde/ ,?+ 9 ! ,hi/ory
  ( ! ,_w """""""""""""""""""""""" #ec
#h4 ,fr1k+ ,\ """""""""""""""""""" #fc
#i4 ,! ,se>* ,"py """""""""""""""" #fi
#aj4 ,di7] """"""""""""""""""""""" #gf
#aa4 ,i ,don't ,want to ,hold
  ,yr ,h& """""""""""""""""""""""" #he
#ab4 ,sup]squirrel """"""""""""""" #ii








                                   p#a

























       ,my ,weird] ,s*ool _?#b      #a
    ,mr4 ,h>rison ,is ,emb>rass9'6

                  #a
           ,s*ool = ,cavem5

,my "n is ,a4,j4 & ,i hate c(fee4
  ,i .1d6 ,did y "e ta/e c(fee8 ,i
tri$ x once & ,i ?"\ ,i 0 gonna ?r[
up4
  ,my p>5ts dr9k c(fee e "d ) br1kfa/4
,:at's up ) t8
  8,if ,i don't get my cup ( c(fee 9 !
morn+10 my dad sd1 8,i'm a mess40
------------------------------------#b
  8,h[ c y dr9k t /uff80 ,i ask$ hm4
8,x ta/es l dirt40
  8,well1 x 0 j gr.d ? morn+10 he
repli$4 ,& !n he slapp$ 8 knee & b5t
ov] lau<+ ev5 ?\< he didn't say any?+
funny4"9
  ,i 0 ?9k+ ab x4 ,"! m/ 2 "s *emical
9 ! bra9 t gets activat$ :5 y 2come a
gr[n-up4 ,!n1 sudd5ly1 y />t to dr9k
c(fee1 eat vegetables1 we> a tie1   #a
& g to craft fairs4 ,"!'s no o!r   a#b
way to expla9 :y gr[n-ups will+ly d
any ( t /uff4
  ,i 0 walk+ to s*ool ) my frs
"333333
"9,?at's a gr[n-up joke t isn't funny
  to kids,-sort ( l ^? dog :i/les t
  humans c't he>4
------------------------------------#c
,ryan1 ,mi*ael1 & ,neil1 :o we call !
nude kid ev5 ?\< he we>s clo!s4 ,^!
annoy+ girls,-,&rea1 ,emily1 &
,alexia,-w]e 2h u z we climb$ up !
front /eps4 ,t's :5 ,i saw ? big sign
444

  ,,,happy bir?"d ella m5try s*ool6,'
  #ej ,ye>s ( ,t1*+ ,/uff

  8,w[1 ,i didn't "k x 0 ! s*ool's
bir?"d10 sd ,mi*ael1 :o n"e ties 8
%oes4
  8,we %d give ! s*ool a "py10 sd
,ryan1 :o w eat any?+1 ev5

/uff t isn't food4                  #d
  8,s*ools don't get bir?"d "pies10 sd
,&rea1 roll+ h] eyes4 8,!y're n p40
  8,t's "r10 sd ,emily1 :o alw agrees
) "ey?+ ,&rea says4
  8,fifty ye>s60 ,alexia sd4 8,t's a
.1l;g "t60
  8,y1h10 ,i told "eybody1 8:5 ! s*ool
f/ op5$1 ! /ud5ts 7 probably cavem540
  8,i'll bet !y tau<t ! kids r1d+1
writ+1 & h[ to />t a fire by ru2+ two
/icks tgr10 sd ,neil4
  8,& !y didn't h to le>n hi/ory back
!n10 ,ryan sd1 82c no?+
------------------------------------#e
happ5$ yet60
  ,me & ! guys lau<$ & hi<-fiv$ ea*
o!r4 ,x 0 hil>i\s4
  8,boys60 ,&rea sd1 roll+ h] eyes ag4
  8,hey10 sd ,alexia1 8back 9 ^? "ds1
9/1d ( buses1 kids probably rode to
s*ool on d9osaurs40
  ,i lau<$ & hi<-fiv$ ,alexia4 ,%e is
pretty cool ev5 ?\< %e's a girl4
  ,&rea put on h] m1n face4         #c
  8,! d9osaurs di$ .1millions (    a#e
ye>s ago1 ,alexia60 %e sd4 8,t 0 l;g
2f "! 7 p40
  8,c y possibly 2 any m bor+80
,alexia ask$ ,&rea4
------------------------------------#f
  ,w[6 ,t's :at .2,i 0 go+ to say6
  ,&rea gave ,alexia ano!r m1n face4
  ,mi*ael pull$ op5 ! front door ( !
s*ool4 ,t's :5 we saw ! /range/ ?+ 9 !
hi/ory ( ! _w4
  ,b ,i'm n go+ to tell y :at x was4
  ,okay1 okay1 ,i'll tell y4
  ,! t1*]s 7 walk+ >.d l zombies6 ,!y
all _h _! h&s \ 9 front ( !m & ? daz$
look 9 _! eyes4 ,mr4 ,dock]4 ,mrs4
,cooney4 ,ms4 ,coco4 ,miss ,holly4
,all ( !m6 ,"s ( ! t1*]s 7 groan+1
drool+1 & bump+ 9to ! walls4
  8,:at's ! matt] ) ! t1*]s80 ,&rea
ask$4
------------------------------------#g
  8,? m/ 2 ,act ,l a ,zombie ,"d10 ,i
sd4
  8,maybe !y're film+ a horror movie10
su7e/$ ,ryan4                      a#g
  8,>e y okay80 ,emily ask$ ,mrs4
------------------------------------#h
,yonk]s1 ! comput] t1*]1 :o 0 /umbl+
>.d l %e 0 / asleep4
  ,mrs4 ,yonk]s j />$ back ) creepy
horror movie eyes4
  8444 m/ h c(fee 44410 %e mutt]$4
  8444 ne$ c(fee 44410 groan$ ,mr4
,macky1 ! r1d+ speciali/4
  8444 w die )\t c(fee 44410 mumbl$
,ms4 ,hannah1 ! >t t1*]4
  ,gr[n-ups >e weird4
------------------------------------#i

                  #b
        ,ni<t ( ! ,liv+ ,t1*]s

,all ! t1*]s 7 /umbl+ >.d l x 0 a sc5e
\ ( .7,ni<t ( ! ,liv+ ,d1d.'4 ,x 0
cool4 ,we all w5t 9to ! front (fice to
see :at 0 go+ on4
  8,:at's go+ on80 ,i ask$ ,mrs4
,patty1 ! s*ool secret>y4
                                    #e
  8,\r c(fee ma*9e is on !         #aj
fritz10 %e sd4
  8,:at's a fritz80 ,i ask$4 8,& :y wd
y put a c(fee ma*9e on "o ( !m8 ,maybe
!y %d take ! c(fee ma*9e (f ! fritz &
x wd "w ag40
  8,on ! fritz m1ns "s?+ is .1brok51
,>lo10 ,&rea sd1 roll+ h] eyes4 ,%e
calls me by my r1l "n 2c %e "ks ,i
don't l x4
  8,yr .1face is on ! fritz10 ,i told
,&rea4
  8,fritz40 ,t's a weird ^w4
  ,sudd5ly1 \r pr9cipal1 ,mr4 ,klutz1
came ru%+ 9 f 8 (fice4 ,he has no hair
at all4 ,i m1n .1n"o4 ,mr4 ,klutz
look$ l
-----------------------------------#aa
he wd h be5 te>+ 8 hair \1 if he _h
any hair4
  8,i don't "k :at to d10 he sd4 8,if
! t1*]s don't get _! c(fee 9 ! morn+1
we cd h a 4a/] on \r h&s60
-----------------------------------#ab
  ,t1*]s 7 w&]+ 9 & \ ( ! (fice l
mon/]s4                           a#ab
  8444 m/ h c(fee 4440
  8444 ne$ c(fee 4440
  8444 life is empty )\t c(fee 4440
  8444 g to ,/>bucks 4440
  ,boy1 gr[n-ups sure d l c(fee4 ,:at
is _! problem8
  8,we've got to .1d "s?+60 %\t$
,emily1 & %e w5t runn+ \ ( ! (fice4
  8,":'s ,miss ,laz>80 ask$ ,mr4
,klutz4 8,%e usually takes c>e ( !
c(fee ma*9e40
  8,x's h] "d (f10 sd ,mrs4 ,patty4
  ,miss ,laz> is ! s*ool cu/odian4
-----------------------------------#ac
,?+s alw seem to g on ! fritz :5 %e
has a "d (f4
  ,i ?"\ ! t1*]s 7 go+ to />t a riot
or "s?+4 ,b y'll n"e 2lieve :o walk$
9to ! door at t mo;t4
  ,nobody4 ,if y walk$ 9to a door1 x
wd hurt4 ,b y'll n"e 2lieve :o walk$
9to ! .1doorway4
  ,x 0 ,mr4 ,h>rison1 ! te* guy at \r
s*ool4 ,he fixes comput]s & las]    #g
pr9t]s & copy ma*9es4 ,he is      a#ac
r1lly sk9ny1 & he has blond hair4
  8,gd morn+1 gd morn+60 ,mr4 ,h>rison
sd to "eybody4
  ,he 0 hold+ a pap] c(fee cup4 ,i
-----------------------------------#ad
guess he m/ h /opp$ (f to buy c(fee on
! way to s*ool4 ,"s ( ! t1*]s saw 8
cup & surr.d$ hm4 8444 m/ h c(fee
44410 groan$ ,miss ,laney1 ! spee*
t1*]4
  ,mr4 ,h>rison l1n$ 8 h1d back to
f9i% 8 c(fee4
  8,ah1 t hit ! spot10 he sd1 ?r[+ !
cup 9 ! g>bage4
-----------------------------------#ae
  ,miss ,laney r1*$ 9to ! g>bage c1
gra2$ ! cup1 & tri$ to lick a few
drops ( c(fee f x4
  8,maybe y c help u1 ,mr4 ,h>rison10
sd ,mr4 ,klutz4 8,! c(fee ma*9e is
brok540
  8,y1h1 x ne$s to get (f ! fritz10 ,i
add$4
  8,c y fix x80 ,mr4 ,klutz ask$4 8,if
we don't get "s c(fee soon1       a#ae
,i'm afraid ! t1*]s w 2 revolt+40
  8,"s ( ! t1*]s >e alr revolt+10 ,i
sd4
  8,l1ve x to me10 sd ,mr4 ,h>rison4
8,i c fix any?+4 ,!y don't call me
,fritz ,h>rison = no?+40
-----------------------------------#af
  8,is ,fritz .1r1lly yr "n80 ,i ask$4
  8,no1 x's j my nick"n40
  8,:at's yr r1l "n80 ,i ask$4
  8,oh1 ,i c't tell y t40
  ,a bun* ( t1*]s ga!r$ >.d to wat*
:ile ,mr4 ,h>rison exam9$ ! c(fee
ma*9e4
  8,x's simple1 r1lly10 he sd4 8,!
wat] goes 9 ? tube to ! drip >ea4 ,?
swit* s5ds electric;y to a h1t+ ele;t1
& blah blah blah s5sors blah blah
fuses to keep x f gett+ too hot blah
blah blah "o-way valve blah blah blah
blah filtra;n sy/em & blah blah blah
4440
  ,mr4 ,h>rison w5t on l t = a
                                    #i
million hundr$ m9utes4 ,he made    #ag
x s.d l ! 9side ( a c(fee ma*9e 0 a
rocket %ip4
  8,s1 d y "k :at's wr;g ) x80 ask$
,mr4 ,klutz4
  8,sure10 ,mr4 ,h>rison repli$4 8,x's
n plu7$ in40
-----------------------------------#ah
  ,he plu7$ 9 ! c(fee ma*9e1 & x />t$
mak+ c(fee "r away4 ,! t1*]s *e]$ &
clapp$ hm on ! back4
  8,hooray = ,mr4 ,h>rison60 !y yell$4
  8,he fix$ ! c(fee ma*9e60
  8,he %d get ! ,nobel ,prize60"9
  8,he's \r h]o60
"333333
"9,?at's a prize !y give \ to p :o
  don't h bells4
-----------------------------------#ai

                  #c
              ,big ,nose

,af ! t1*]s got _! c(fee1 "ey?+ 0 back
to normal4 ,or z normal z ?+s .1"e get
at ,ella ,m5try ,s*ool4           a#ai
  ,! bell rang1 & we all ru%$ to ,mr4
,granite's class4 ,we pl$g$ !
allegi.e1 did ,^w ( ! ,"d1 & _h circle
"t4 ,t's :5 we all sit >.d 9 a circle1
-----------------------------------#bj
s x has ! p]fect "n4
  8,okay1 turn to page tw5ty-?ree 9 yr
ma? books10 sd ,mr4 ,granite4
  ,we've be5 "w+ on page tw5ty-?ree 9
\r ma? books = a million hundr$ "ds4
,b e "t we get />t$1 "! seems to 2 an
9t]rup;n4 ,t's f9e ) me1 2c ma? is
bor+4
  8,td we're go+ to "w on frac;ns10 sd
,mr4 ,granite4 8,n[1 : "o ( y c tell
me,-0
  ,he didn't get ! *.e to f9i% 8 s5t;e
2c at t v mo;t an ann\nce;t came ov] !
l\dsp1k]4
-----------------------------------#ba
  8,"ey"o1 pl1se report to ! all-
purpose room = an assembly10 sd ,mrs4
,patty4
  8,yay60 me & ! guys %\t$4 8,no   #aa
ma?60                             a#ba
  8,:at860 ,mr4 ,granite moan$4
8,nobody told me we 7 hav+ an
assembly40
  ,he 0 mad1 b ,i 0 happy 2c we got \
( ma? ag4 ,i didn't ev5 m9d t we _h to
walk a million hundr$ miles to ! all-
purpose room4
  ,i got a s1t next to ,ryan1 &
,alexia sat on my o!r side4 ,&rea & t
crybaby ,emily 7 9 front ( u4
  ,mr4 ,klutz & \r vice pr9cipal1
,mrs4 ,jafee1 got up on ! /age4 ,mrs4
,jafee made
-----------------------------------#bb
a p1ce sign ) h] f+]s1 : m1ns 8%ut
up40
  8,f/ ( all1 h[ ab a big r.d (
applause = ,mr4 ,h>rison80 sd ,mrs4
,jafee4 8,he fix$ ! c(fee ma*9e40
  ,mr4 ,h>rison took a b[4 ,"eybody
clapp$ 9 a circle & yell$ 8,hip hip
hooray0 until ! t1*]s made ! %ut-up
p1ce sign4
  8,/ud5ts1 ,i h big news10 ann\nc$
,mr4 ,klutz4                      a#bb
  8,mr4 ,klutz has a big nose10
,alexia :isp]$ 9 my e>4
  ,hey1 t's :at ,i 0 go+ to say6
  8,td is ,ella ,m5try ,s*ool's
fiftie? bir?"d60 ,mr4 ,klutz sd4
-----------------------------------#bc
  8,hip hip hooray60 "eybody yell$4"9
  8,to help u celebrate1 "s special
visitors >e com+ af lun*10 ,mr4 ,klutz
told u4 8,mayor ,hu2le is go+ to 2 "h4
,a newspap] report]4 ,& ,*annel #g
,news is ev5 com+ to film !
celebra;n40
  8,>e we gonna 2 on ,,tv80 "s girl
%\t$4
  8,y bet*a10 sd ,mrs4 ,jafee4
  8,,eeeeeeeeeek6 ,we're gonna 2 on
,,tv60
  ,all ! girls />t$ scr1m+ & fr1k+ \4
  8,we're gonna 2 fam\s60
  8,x's go+ to 2 l a r1l;y ,,tv %[60
"333333
"9,:at d hips h to d ) *e]+8 ,t s.ds l
  y're *e]+ = hips4                #ac
  ,girls >e weird4                 #bd
  8,h[ d ,i look80 ask$ ,&rea4 8,i ne$
to comb my hair40
  8,y look b1uti;l10 sd ,emily4 8,h[ d
,i look80
  8,y look b1uti;l1 too10 sd ,&rea4
  8,y bo? look ugly10 ,i told !m4
  ,mr4 ,klutz made ! %ut-up p1ce sign
ag4
  8,"! w 2 "o o!r special gue/10 he
sd4 8,ella ,m5try3 ! lady \r s*ool 0
"nd af4 ,j l \r s*ool is celebrat+ xs
bir?"d1 s is ,mrs4 ,m5try4 ,%e is
n9ety ye>s old td1 & %e's go+ to
celebrate "r "h ) u4 ,isn't t excit+80
-----------------------------------#be
  8,yes60 sd all ! girls4
  8,no60 sd all ! boys4
  8,"!'s a r1son :y ,i call$ y all 9
"h ? morn+10 ,mr4 ,klutz told u4 8,d y
kids rememb] :at happ5$ ! .1la/ "t
,ella ,m5try visit$ \r s*ool80
  ,h[ cd ,i =get8 ,x seem$ l x 0 j
ye/]"d4 ,\r s*ool _h be5 "nd ! cl1ne/
s*ool 9 ! 4trict1 & ,ella ,m5try came
to ! vomitorium at lun*"t to      a#be
give u ! aw>d4
  ,! only problem was1 ,i %ot "s p1s &
c>rots up 9 ! air ) a spoon4 ,!y /uck
to ! ceil+ = a few m9utes1 b !n !y l&$
on ,&rea's h1d4 ,s %e dump$ a b[l (
spa<etti ov]
-----------------------------------#bf
my h1d4 ,i pu%$ a b[l ( mac>oni &
*eese 9 h] face1 & ,emily got hit 9 !
h1d ) a m1tball4 ,! next ?+ we knew1 !
:ole s*ool 0 hav+ a big food fi<t4
  ,t's :5 ,ella ,m5try %[$ up4 ,%e
didn't give u ! aw>d = hav+ ! cl1ne/
s*ool 9 ! 4trict4 ,b %e
-----------------------------------#bg
did dump a b[l ( *ocolate pudd+ ov]
,mr4 ,klutz's h1d4
  8,t 0 a v emb>rass+ "d10 sd ,mrs4
,jafee4 8,we c't let x happ5 ag4 ,) !
report] & a cam]a crew com+1 we ne$ to
%[ \r s*ool 9 ! be/ possible li<t40
  8,y're go+ to %9e li<ts on ! s*ool80
,i ask$4
  ,&rea turn$ >.d to roll h]       #ae
eyes at me4                       a#bg
  8,t m1ns we ne$ to 2 on \r be/
2havior1 ,>lo10 %e :isp]$4 8,y %d try
x "s"t40
  8,oh1 snap60 sd ,ryan4
  8,mrs4 ,m5try doesn't l x :5 ?+s
-----------------------------------#bh
get dirty10 ,mr4 ,klutz told u4 8,s
let's sp5d ! re/ ( ! morn+ cl1n+ up !
s*ool4 ,i want ? place to 2 z cl1n z a
:i/le :5 %e >rives40
  8,:i/les >5't cl1n10 ,i sd to
,alexia4
  8,y1h10 %e repli$4 8,:i/les >e fill$
) p's spit4 ,!y're gross40
  ,&rea roll$ h] eyes at u4
  8,cl1n z a :i/le is an idiom10 %e
sd4
  8.1,y're an idiom10 ,i told ,&rea4
  8,oh1 snap60 sd ,ryan4
  ,i _h no idea :at an idiom was1 b x
0 j "o lr away f 8idiot10 s ,i figur$
x 0 "s?+ m1n t ,i cd say to ,&rea4


                  #d               #bi
             ,on ! ,fritz

,we m>*$ back to \r class 9 s+le file4
,i 0 ! l9e l1d]4 ,mr4 ,granite cdn't g
back to \r ma? lesson 2c we _h to cl1n
up ! room = ,ella ,m5try4 ,he gave ea*
( u a rag & a spray bottle fill$ )
wat]4 ,&rea />t$ s++ 8,! ,cl1n-up
,s;g0 444
-----------------------------------#cj

  ,cl1n up6 ,cl1n up6
  ,"eybody "ey":6
  ,cl1n up6 ,cl1n up6
  ,"eybody d yr %>e4

-----------------------------------#ca
  ,except t me & ! guys *ang$ ! la/
l9e to 8,ev5 9 yr "uwe>40
  ,x 0 hil>i\s4 ,any?+ to d ) "uwe> is
hil>i\s4
  ,&rea ?9ks cl1n+ is fun4 ,:at is h]
problem8 ,cl1n+ isn't fun4 ,gett+
dirty is fun4 ,t's ! f/ rule (     #ag
2+ a kid4                         a#ca
  ,b we did want "ey?+ to 2 p]fect =
:5 ,mrs4 ,m5try & ! news report] %[$
up4 ,i 0 cl1n+ (f ! comput] table 9 !
corn] :5 ,i notic$ t ! scre5 0 fill$ )
a bun* ( /range numb]s & lrs t made no
s5se at all4
  8,mr4 ,granite1 ! comput] is on !
-----------------------------------#cb
fritz10 ,i sd4
  8,maybe ,i c fix x10 sd ,&rea4 8,i
take a comput] class af s*ool40
  ,&rea takes classes 9 .1"ey?+ af
s*ool4 ,if !y gave a class 9 h[ to
take classes1 %e wd take t class s %e
cd get bett] at class tak+4
  ,z x turn$ \1 ,&rea cdn't fix !
comput]4 ,mr4 ,granite _h to call ,mr4
,h>rison on ! 9t]com4 ,he came runn+ 9
a few m9utes lat]4
  8,yr comput] is on ! fritz80 ,mr4
,h>rison ask$4
  8,x 0 "w+ f9e j ye/]"d10 ,mr4
,granite told hm4
  8,c y get x (f ! fritz80 ,i ask$4
  ,mr4 ,h>rison remov$ ! back (    #cc
! comput] & />t$ pok+ >.d at ! 9sides
) a screwdriv]4
  8,i see :at's go+ on "h10 he sd4
8,yr ext]nal p>allel processor c't
a3ess 5 gigaflops to bitmap ! b9>y
protocol blah blah blah blah blah4
,all we ne$ is to upload a new
firewall s ! net"w c reboot yr "mbo>d
& maximize ! s]ial b&wid? blah blah
blah blah blah40
  ,mr4 ,h>rison talks funny4 ,nobody
_h any idea :at he 0 say+4 ,b 9 a
m9ute or two1 ! comput] 0 "w+ f9e4
  8,hip hip hooray60 ,i *e]$4 8,!
comput] is (f ! fritz60
-------------------------------#cd-#ce
  8,:ile y're "h10 sd ,mr4 ,granite1
8\r ,,sm>t ,bo>d w5t on ! fritz
ye/]"d40
  8,y1h10 ,i sd1 8t ?+ is bu/$4 ,x %d
2 call$ a dumb bo>d40
  8,c y fix x80 ask$ ,mr4 ,granite4
  8,no problem10 sd ,mr4 ,h>rison4 8,i
j ne$ to debug ! analog            #ai
,bluetoo? vector blah blah blah   a#ce
blah blah blah 4440
  ,nobody _h any idea :at he 0 talk+
ab4 ,b ( c\rse1 a few seconds lat]1 !
,,sm>t ,bo>d 0 (f ! fritz4
  ,mr4 ,h>rison c fix .1any?+3
comput]s1 las] pr9t]s1 scann]s1
9t]coms1 microph"os1 ev5 p5cil %>p5]s
& c(fee ma*9es4 ,& "!'s pl5ty
-----------------------------------#cf
( old1 brok5-d[n /uff to fix at \r
s*ool4
  ,t's ! ?+ ab a fifty-ye>-old s*ool4
,"ey?+ is alw on ! fritz & fall+ a"p4
,"o "t1 a piece ( pla/] fell (f !
ceil+ 9 ! hallway & hit ,emily 9 !
h1d4 ,x 0 a r1l ,kodak mo;t4 ,we ne$
to h a te* guy all ! "t j to fix !
/uff t br1ks4
  8,hip hip hooray60 we all yell$ :5
,mr4 ,h>rison turn$ on ! ,,sm>t ,bo>d4
  8,i'm j do+ my job10 he sd4 8,:5 ,i
see "s?+ is brok51 ,i want to fix x40
  8,c y fix ,&rea's bra980 ,i ask$4
8,2c x's brok540
  8,oh1 snap60 sd ,ryan4           #cg
  ,&rea 0 go+ to say "s?+ m1n to me1 b
%e cdn't 2c "! 0 an ann\nce;t ov] !
l\dsp1k]4
  8,mr4 ,h>rison1 pl1se report to !
(fice4 ,! copy ma*9e is on ! fritz
ag40
  ,mr4 ,h>rison si<$4
  8,i j fix$ t old ?+ ye/]"d10 he told
u4 8,x's worn-\4 ,i don't ?9k ,i c fix
x ag4 ,i'll j h to build a new copy
ma*9e l ! old "o40
  8,s y're go+ to make a copy ( ! copy
ma*9e80 ,i ask$4
  8,t's "r40
  ,no1 t's weird4
-----------------------------------#ch

                  #e
        ,mr4 ,h>rison's ,9v5;n

,i 0 9 ! vomitorium eat+ lun* at a
table ) ! guys & ,alexia4 ,&rea & h]
girlie girl frs 7 at ! next table4
  8,:at d y ?9k ,mr4 ,h>rison's    #ba
r1l "n is80 ,alexia ask$ z %e     a#ch
bit 9to a
-----------------------------------#ci
p1nut butt] s&wi*4
  8,he told u 8 "n is ,fritz10 sd
,ryan1 :o 0 eat+ a salad4 ,ryan w eat
any?+1 ev5 /uff t grew 9 ! dirt4
-----------------------------------#dj
  8,fritz is ,mr4 ,h>rison's
.1nick"n10 ,&rea sd4 8,he won't tell u
8 r1l "n40
  8,x m/ 2 r1lly weird10 ,mi*ael sd4
8,if he _h a normal "n1 he wd tell u
:at x was40
  8,his "n is probably ,po9dext]10 sd
,neil ! nude kid1 8or ,dorkus40
  8,we ne$ to f9d \ 8 r1l "n10 ,i sd4
8,he may 2 an impo/or40
  8,:at80 ,emily ask$4 ,%e look$ all
sc>$1 l alw4
  8,maybe ,mr4 ,h>rison isn't a r1l
te* guy at all10 ,i expla9$4 8,did y
"e ?9k ( t8 ,maybe he kidnapp$ \r te*
guy40

  8,/op try+ to sc>e ,emily10 sd   #da
,&rea4
  8,i'm sc>$60 sd ,emily4
  8,he probably took a las] \ ( "o ( !
las] pr9t]s10 ,i sd1 8& he's %oot+
las] b1ms at ! r1l te* guy "r .1n[40
  8,we've got to .1d "s?+60 sd ,emily1
& !n %e w5t runn+ \ ( ! vomitorium4 ,t
girl w fall = any?+4
  ,emily didn't h to g any":4 ,2c y'll
n"e 2lieve :o walk$ 9to ! vomitorium
at t mo;t4
  ,x 0 ,mr4 ,h>rison6 ,& he 0 hold+ an
umbrella4
  8,h[ d y l my new 9v5;n80
-----------------------------------#db
he ask$ u4
  8,y 9v5t$ ! umbrella80 ask$ ,ryan4
  8,oh1 ? isn't j .1any old umbrella10
,mr4 ,h>rison sd4 8,x's a .1sol>-p[]$
umbrella40
  8,:at80 ,neil sd4 8,i n"e he>d (
any?+ l t40
  8,see80 ,mr4 ,h>rison told u4 8,?
umbrella has a built-9 sol>        #bc
panel4 ,x uses ! p[] ( ! sun to   a#db
op5 x4 ,i've be5 "w+ on x = ye>s40
  ,he pu%$ a button on ! h&le1 & !
umbrella op5$ up4
  8,,w[10 we all sd1 : is 8,,mom0
upside d[n4
-----------------------------------#dc
  8,t's n1t1 ,mr4 ,h>rison60 sd ,&rea1
:o n"e misses ! *.e to br[n-nose a
gr[n-up4
  8,wait a m9ute10 ,i sd4 8,:y wd y
ne$ t8 ,nobody uses an umbrella :5 !
sun is \4 ,we only use an umbrella :5
x's ra9+40
  8,hmmm10 sd ,mr4 ,h>rison1 8y're "r4
,x 0 a dumb idea40
  ,!n he ?rew 8 sol>-p[]$ umbrella 9to
! g>bage c4
  8,i guess ,i %d =get ab ! o!r 9v5;n
,i'm "w+ on10 he sd1 8a sol>-p[]$
fla%li<t40
  ,mr4 ,h>rison m/ h be5 pretty mad t
,i didn't l 8 9v5;n1 2c he
-----------------------------------#dd
/orm$ away4 ,b z he turn$ >.d to l1ve1
y'll n"e 2lieve :at happ5$4       a#dd
  ,he slipp$ on "s spill$ juice & fell
d[n6
  ,& :5 he fell d[n1 y'll n"e 2lieve
:at happ5$4
  ,8 wallet fell \ ( 8 pocket6
  ,& :5 8 wallet fell \ ( 8 pocket1
y'll n"e 2lieve :at happ5$4
-----------------------------------#de
  ,i p\nc$ on x6
  ,& :5 ,i p\nc$ on ! wallet1 ,i op5$
x up & look$ at ! "n on ! driv]'s
lic5se4 ,& y'll n"e 2lieve :at ,mr4
,h>rison's f/ "n is4
  ,i'm n go+ to tell y4
  ,okay1 okay1 ,i'll tell y4 ,b y h to
r1d ! next *apt]4 ,s nah-nah-nah boo-
boo on y6
-----------------------------------#df

                  #f
      ,! ,tru? ,ab ,mr4 ,h>rison

,mr4 ,h>rison's f/ "n is ,george4
  8,i "k ,mr4 ,h>rison's r1l       #be
"n10 ,i told "eybody af ,i h&$    a#df
back ! wallet & he left4
  8,:at is x80 ,ryan ask$4
  8,his "n is 44410 ,i sd4 8,i'm n
tell+40
-----------------------------------#dg
  8,come on1 ,a4,j460 sd ,mi*ael4
8,spill ! b1ns40"9
  8,i'll 2 yr be/ fr10 sd ,neil ! nude
kid4
  8,>lo1 :at's ,mr4 ,h>rison's f/ "n80
sd ,&rea4
  8,x's ,george10 ,i sd4
  8,george80 sd ,alexia4 8,t's n a
weird "n40
  8,i wond] :y he wdn't tell u 8 "n 0
,george10 sd ,mi*ael4
  8,george ,h>rison10 sd ,&rea4 8,wait
a m9ute6 ,george ,h>rison 0 "sbody
fam\s6 ,he 0 "o ( ! ,b1tles60
  8,"o ( ! .1:at80 ask$ ,neil ! nude
kid4
"333333
"9,:at d b1ns h to d ) any?+8

  8,t old rock gr\p1 dumbh1d10     #dh
sd ,mi*ael4
  ,oh1 y1h6 ,my p>5ts told me ab !
,b1tles1 & ,i play$ ? video game call$
,rock ,b&1 ": y play ,b1tle
-----------------------------------#di
s;gs4 ,x's cool4 ,"eybody "ks :o !
,b1tles w]e4
  8,mr4 ,h>rison 0 "o ( ! ,b1tles80
ask$ ,ryan4
  8,wait a m9ute10 ,&rea sd4 8,george
,h>rison ( ! ,b1tles di$ a l;g "t
ago40
  8,he m/ h fak$ 8 d1?10 ,i told h]4
8,fam\s p d t all ! "t1 y "k40
  8,t doesn't make any s5se1 ,a4,j410
sd ,mi*ael4 8,:y wd a big rock /> fake
8 d1? & get a job z a te* guy 9 a
s*ool80
  8,he probably hat$ 2+ fam\s10 ,i
told !m4 8,celebrities get sick (
sign+
-----------------------------------#ej
autographs & hav+ p take pictures ( !m
all ! "t4 ,he m/ 2 hid+ \ 9 \r     #bg
s*ool s 8 fans won't bo!r hm40    a#ej
  8,2+ a n]dy te* guy .1wd 2 ! p]fect
4guise10 ,alexia admitt$4
  8,b ,mr4 ,h>rison doesn't look
.1any?+ l ! o!r ,george ,h>rison10
,&rea sd4 8,i've se5 pictures ( hm40
  8,hav5't y "e he>d ( pla/ic surg]y80
,i ask$ h]4 8,& he obvi\sly dy$ 8 hair
blond s he wd look completely di6]5t40
  8,he did n40
  8,did too40
  ,we w5t back & =? l t = a
-----------------------------------#ea
:ile4 ,b guess :o came back 9to !
vomitorium at t mo;t4
  ,x 0 ,mr4 ,h>rison4
  8,x's "t = ! big bir?"d celebra;n60
he sd1 all excit$4 8,if y want "s
cake1 y ne$ to g to ! all-purpose room
"r away40
  ,i love cake6 ,i 0 ab to run \ ( !
vomitorium1 b ,mr4 ,h>rison gra2$ me4
  8,:oa6 ,n s fa/1 ,a4,j410 he sd4
8,x's slipp]y 9 "h4 ,y mi<t fall d[n &
get hurt4 ,i want to hold yr h&40
  ,,:at86                         a#ea
  ,i look$ at ,alexia4 ,alexia look$
at ,ryan4 ,ryan look$ at ,mi*ael4
,mi*ael look$ at
-----------------------------------#eb
,neil4 ,neil look$ at ,&rea4
  ,& we all m\!d ! same ^ws4
  8.7,i want to hold yr h&8.'0
  ,see8 ,i .1told y t ,mr4 ,h>rison 0
"o ( ! ,b1tles6
-----------------------------------#ec

                  #g
          ,! ,weirde/ ,?+ 9
          ! ,hi/ory ( ! ,_w

,we want$ to ask ,mr4 ,h>rison if he 0
"o ( ! ,b1tles1 b "! 0 no "t4 ,we _h
to ru% to ! all-purpose room = ! big
bir?"d celebra;n4 ,i 0 "r 2h ,alexia4
  ,:5 we got "!1 a giant cake 0 on
-----------------------------------#ed
! /age4 ,i m1n .1giant6 ,"! m/ h be5 5
cake = "eybody 9 ! :ole s*ool to h a
piece4 ,& x 0                      #bi
cov]$ ) c&les4 ,i guess "! 7       #ee
n9ety ( !m1 = ,ella ,m5try's bir?"d4
,mr4 ,h>rison w5t up on/age & />t$
li<t+ !m4
  ,i saw ,mayor ,hu2le talk+ to ,mr4
,klutz at ! front ( ! room4 ,"s guys 7
c>ry+ >.d a big ,,tv cam]a4 ,i didn't
see ,ella ,m5try any":4
  ,2f we cd sit d[n1 a lady ,i n"e saw
2f gra2$ me by ! >m4 ,%e 0 we>+ a hat
t sd ,,PRESS on x1 & %e pull$ \ a pad
& a p54
  8,my "n is ,mrs4 ,lilly10 %e sd4 8,i
"w = ! .7,news ,tribune ,bullet9
,9quir].'4 ,c ,i ask y kids a few
"qs80
  8,sure10 ,alexia & ,i repli$4
-----------------------------------#ef
  8,s :at's yr "n1 "y man80 ,mrs4
,lilly ask$4
  8,my "n is ,a4,j4 & ,i hate s*ool10
,i told h]4
  8,hello1 ll girl10 ,mrs4 ,lilly sd4
8,:at's .1yr "n80
  8,my "n is ,a4,j4 & ,i hate s*ool10
sd ,alexia4                       a#ef
  8,bo? ( y >e "nd ,a4,j480 ,mrs4
,lilly ask$ u4
  8,yes40
  8,& bo? ( y hate s*ool80
  8,yes40
  8,tell me :y10 %e sd4 8,i ne$ to get
a scoop = my pap]40
  8,:y d y ne$ a scoop80 ,i ask$4
-----------------------------------#eg
8,did yr dog make a poop80
  8,no1 ,i m1n ,i'm "h to get ! .1r1l
/ory ab ,ella ,m5try ,s*ool10 ,mrs4
,lilly sd4 8,i want ! /ory .12h !
/ory40
  8,well1 ! t1*]s "h >e all crazy10
,alexia told h]4
  8,is t s80 ,mrs4 ,lilly sd z %e
jott$ d[n notes 9 h] pad4 8,tell me
m40
  8,\r t1*]1 ,mr4 ,granite1 is f
-----------------------------------#eh
ano!r planet10 ,i told h]4 8,he built
a space%ip p[]$ by potatoes s he cd g
home1 b a c[ bump$ 9to x & x       #ca
cra%$ 9to ! playgr.d40            a#eh
  8,9t]e/+60 sd ,mrs4 ,lilly1 writ+
qkly on h] pad4
  8,hey1 c we press on yr hat80
,alexia ask$ ,mrs4 ,lilly4
  8,:y d y want to press on my hat80
  8,2c x says ,,press on x60 ,i told
h]4 8,duh60
  ,mrs4 ,lilly is silly4 ,%e want$ to
ask u m "qs1 b ,mr4 ,klutz made a p1ce
sign1 s "eybody _h to %ut up4
  8,take a s1t1 ,a4,j410 he sd4
  8,i c't10 ,i sd4 8,all ! s1ts >e
screw$
-----------------------------------#ei
to ! floor40
  8,he m1ns sit d[n10 ,alexia told me4
  ,i knew t4
  8,"s p mi<t say ,ella ,m5try ,s*ool
is old10 ,mr4 ,klutz ann\nc$ 9to !
microph"o4 8,"s p say x's fall+ a"p4
,n me4 ,\r s*ool has "* blah blah
blah4 ,& \r s*ool has hi/ory blah blah
blah4 ,& \r s*ool has blah blah blah
blah blah blah40
  ,mr4 ,klutz's spee* 0 r1lly     a#ei
bor+4 ,!n ,mayor ,hu2le got up to
sp1k4
  8,blah blah blah blah10 he sd4
8,blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah
-----------------------------------#fj
blah blah blah blah40
  ,i ?"\ ,i 0 gonna die4
  8,& n[ ,i wd l to 9troduce \r honor$
gue/ ( ! "d10 ! mayor sd4 8,! "nsake (
,ella ,m5try ,ele;t>y ,s*ool1 ,mrs4
444 ,ella 444 ,m5try60
  ,mrs4 ,m5try is r1lly old1 & %e came
toddl+ \ on ! /age ) a cane4 ,t lady
is .1t9y4 ,%e 0 ab ! size (
-----------------------------------#fa
,r#b-,d#b 9 .1,/> .1,w>s4 ,mr4 ,klutz
adju/$ ! microph"o s ,ella ,m5try cd
r1* x4
  8,i'm s happy yr s*ool 0 "nd af me10
,mrs4 ,m5try told u4 8,2c :5 y get to
2 my age1 y =get ?+s4 ,& if ,i     #cc
"e =get my "n1 ,i "k t all ,i     a#fa
ne$ to d is walk d[n ! /reet & see x 9
big lrs on ! side ( yr s*ool40
  ,we w]5't sure if ,ella ,m5try 0
mak+ a joke or n4 ,maybe %e r1lly
.1does h to walk by \r s*ool to
rememb] h] "n4 ,we all lau<$1 j to 2
on ! safe side4
  8,y say x's yr bir?"d10 ,ella ,m5try
sd4 8,x's my bir?"d1 too60
-----------------------------------#fb
  ,"eybody *e]$4 ,%e w5t 2h ! giant
bir?"d cake & />t$ to s+ 8,happy
,bir?"d40 ,! :ole s*ool jo9$ in4 ,x 0
l\d6
  ,:5 ! s;g 0 ov]1 ,mrs4 ,m5try />t$
to bl[ \ ! c&les4 ,"! 7 l a million
hundr$ ( !m4 ,i ?"\ %e 0 gonna pass \4
  ,ella ,m5try 0 9 ! middle ( bl[+ \ !
c&les :5 ! weirde/ ?+ 9 ! hi/ory ( !
_w happ5$4
  ,i'm n go+ to tell y :at x was4
  ,okay1 okay1 ,i'll tell y4
  ,all ! li<ts w5t \6

                  #h               #fc
              ,fr1k+ ,\

,sudd5ly1 we 7 all sitt+ "! 9 ! d>k4
,! only li<t 0 com+ f ! c&les on ,ella
,m5try's bir?"d cake4 ,= a few seconds
nobody knew :at to d4 ,x 0 sc>y6
  8,"ey"o rema9 calm10 sd ,mr4 ,klutz4
  8,! li<ts 9 ! halls >e \ too10
-----------------------------------#fd
holl]$ ,mr4 ,macky4
  8,! comput]s 9 ! front (fice >e
d[n10 %\t$ ,mrs4 ,patty f ! back ( !
all-purpose room4
  8.1,"ey?+ is d[n10 sd "o ( ! o!r
t1*]s4 8,x's a total p[] failure40
  8,a black\t60 sd ,mayor ,hu2le4 8,oh
no6 ,:5 ! p>5ts f9d \1 !y'll blame x
on me1 & ,i won't 2 reelect$40
  8,:y is x t e "t ,i come to visit yr
s*ool1 "s?+ bad happ5s80 ask$ ,ella
,m5try4 8,i've _h 5 ( ?60
  8,i'm sure ! li<ts w come back on
any second1 ,mrs4 ,m5try10 sd ,mr4
,klutz4                            #ce
  8,let's n panic10 sd ,mrs4      a#fd
,jafee4
-----------------------------------#fe
  8,i'm afraid ( ! d>k60 :9$ "o ( ! f/
grad]s4
  8,i want my mommy60 yell$ "s o!r ll
kid4
  ,%ee%1 get a grip6 ,x 0 l ! f/
grad]s _h n"e be5 9 ! d>k 2f4 ,^? kids
%d take a *ill pill4
  ,! only problem 0 t z soon z "o ( ^?
ll f/-grade mun*k9s />ts 9 cry+1 all !
re/ ( ! f/ grad]s />t 9 cry+1 too4 ,&
once all ! f/ grad]s />t 9 cry+1 !
second grad]s />t yell+ & scr1m+4 ,&
once all ! second grad]s />t yell+ &
scr1m+1 ! ?ird grad]s />t fr1k+ \4
-------------------------------#ff-#fg
  8,! _w is com+ to an 5d60 %\t$
,mi*ael4
  8,run = yr life60 %\t$ ,ryan4
  8,we're all go+ to die60 ,i %\t$1 j
= ! fun ( x4
  ,mr4 ,klutz 0 probably mak+ ! %ut-up
p1ce sign ) 8 f+]s1 b nobody cd see x
2c x 0 too d>k4                   a#fg
  8,mrs4 ,m5try1 >e y okay80 ,mr4
,klutz %\t$4
  ,no reply4
  8,mrs4 ,m5try80
  ,sil;e4 ,y cd he> a p9 drop 9 "!4"9
"333333
"9,?at is1 if "! 7 any p9s >.d4 ,: "!
  w]5't4

-----------------------------------#fh
  8,mrs4 ,m5try1 ": .1>e y80 ask$
,mayor ,hu2le4
  ,no?+4
  8,":'s ,mrs4 ,m5try80 yell$ ,mr4
,klutz4
  8,":'s ,mrs4 ,m5try80 yell$ ,mrs4
,jafee4
  8,":'s ,mrs4 ,m5try80 yell$ ,mr4
,granite4
  8,":'s ,mrs4 ,m5try80 "eybody 0
yell+4
  ,mrs4 ,m5try 0 .1g"o6

                                   #cg
                  #i               #fi
            ,! ,se>* ,"py

,:5 all ! kids r1liz$ t ,ella ,m5try 0
miss+1 !y /opp$ cry+ & yell+ & scr1m+
& fr1k+ \4 ,"eybody 0 worri$ ab ,mrs4
,m5try4
  8,i'm sure ! li<ts w 2 back on any
-----------------------------------#gj
mo;t & we'll f9d ,mrs4 ,m5try10 sd
,mr4 ,klutz4 8,= n[ ,i ne$ "ey"o to
/ay calm40
  ,calm8 ,:o c /ay calm :5 all ! li<ts
>e \ & ! n9ety-ye>-old lady ! s*ool is
"nd af has 4appe>$8
  8,ella80 ! t1*]s 7 all say+4 8,": >e
y1 ,mrs4 ,m5try80
  8,%e 0 "r "h a m9ute ago10 sd ,ms4
,coco1 ! gift$ & tal5t$ t1*]4 8,i saw
h] /&+ "!40
  8,maybe %e w5t to ! ba?room10 sd
,mr4 ,dock]1 ! sci;e t1*]4
  8,maybe %e's hid+10 su7e/$ ,mrs4
,yonk]s4

  8,yoo-hoo60 sd ,miss ,laney4     #ga
8,mrs4 ,m5try8 ,come \1 come \1 :]"e y
>e60
  8,? is a trag$y60 sd ,mr4 ,klutz4
8,h[ d y lose a n9ety-ye>-old lady80
  8,%e's pretty t9y10 sd ,mrs4 ,jafee4
8,%e cd 2 any":40
  8,we .1h to f9d h]10 sd ,mayor
,hu2le4 8,if any?+ happ5s to ,mrs4
,m5try1 ! vot]s >e go+ to blame me = x
on ,elec;n ,"d40
  ,all ! gr[n-ups 7 upset4 ,well1 all
! gr[n-ups 7 upset except = "o3 t
newspap] report]1 ,mrs4 ,lilly4
  8.1,n[ ,i h a /ory60 %e sd excit$ly4
8,i c see ! h1dl9e3 ,,,EX-T1*] ELLA
-----------------------------------#gb
M5TRY VANI%ES 9TO ?9 AIR6 POLICE >E
BA6L$6,' ,f9ally1 ,i'll h ! scoop
,i've be5 wait+ = my :ole life60
  8,:y don't y j g to a /ore & buy a
scoop80 ,i ask$4
  ,mr4 ,h>rison lit all ! c&les on !
cake ag4 ,n[ we cd see a ll4
                                   #ci
  8,mr4 ,klutz10 he sd1 8,i ?9k    #gc
,i "k ": ,mrs4 ,m5try mi<t be40
  8,":80
  8,%e may h w&]$ d[n to ! base;t10
,mr4 ,h>rison sd4 8,b to get to h]1
,i'm go+ to ne$ "s ll p40
  8,:y80 ask$ ,mr4 ,klutz4
  8,i ?9k %e fell 9 a hole10 sd ,mr4
,h>rison4
  8,%e fell 9 a hole80 "sbody yell$4
  8,%e fell on a hoe80 "sbody else
yell$4
  8,%e flew 9 a hotel80 "sbody else
yell$4
  ,"eybody 0 yell+ \ all k9ds (
-----------------------------------#gd
crazy /uff t _h no?+ to d ) fall+ 9 a
hole4
  8,y say y ne$ "s ll p10 ,mr4 ,klutz
ask$4 8,h[ ll80
  8,f/ grad]s & second grad]s mi<t 2
too ll10 sd ,mr4 ,h>rison4 8,f\r? &
fif? grad]s mi<t 2 too big4 ,i ne$ "s
?ird grad]s40
  8,i volunte]60 %\t$ ,ryan1 ,mi*ael1
& ,neil ! nude kid4               a#gd
  8,we d too60 sd me & ,alexia4
  8,i want to help f9d ,mrs4 ,m5try
too10 sd ,&rea1 :o alw wants to help
gr[n-ups s !y'll l h]4 ,!n1 ( c\rse1
,emily volunte]$ 2c %e does "ey?+ t
,&rea does4
-----------------------------------#ge
  8,gd60 sd ,mr4 ,h>rison4 8,ea* ( y
come up "h & take a piece ( cake ) a
c&le on x4 ,we'll use ! c&les to li<t
\r way until ! li<ts come back on4 ,y
won't see me40
  8,we get to h cake80 sd ,ryan1 :o is
alw ?9k+ ab eat+4 8,cool60
  8,foll[ me1 kids10 sd ,mr4 ,h>rison4
-----------------------------------#gf

                 #aj
                ,di7]

,we ea* took a piece ( cake ) a c&le
/uck 9 x & foll[$ ,mr4 ,h>rison d[n !
/airs4 ,i felt l a secret ag5t sn1k+
>.d 9 ! d>k4 ,x 0 cool4            #da
  8,base;ts >e sc>y10 ,emily sd   a#gf
z we made \r way d[n/airs4
  8,y1h1 "! >e probably mon/]s
-----------------------------------#gg
d[n "!10 ,i told h]4
  8,/op try+ to sc>e ,emily10 ,&rea
told me4
  8,i'm sc>$60 sd ,emily4
  8,hey1 c we eat ? cake80 ask$ ,ryan4
  8,y c't d t10 sd ,mr4 ,h>rison4 8,we
ne$ ! c&les to li<t \r way40
  8,if we _h sol>-p[]$ fla%li<ts10 ,i
sd1 8we wd 2 able to eat ! cake40
  8,well1 y c't use yr cake z a
fla%li<t & eat x1 too10 sd ,mr4
,h>rison4
  ,f9ally1 we r1*$ ! base;t4 ,at !
bottom ( ! /airs1 "! 0 a hole 9 !
floor4 ,i alm fell 9 x4
  8,i notic$ ? hole ye/]"d10 sd ,mr4
-----------------------------------#gh
,h>rison1 8& ,i ?9k ,i "k :o made x1
too40
  8,:o80 we all ask$4
  8,a squirrel40
  8,a squirrel80                  a#gh
  8,a squirrel40"9
  ,mr4 ,h>rison told u t he _h notic$
a squirrel hang+ >.d ! monkey b>s 9 !
playgr.d1 di7+ deep holes 9 ! dirt4
,he ev5 gave h] a "n3 ,di7]4
  8,i ?9k ,di7] mi<t h dug a hole 9to
! s*ool & *ew$ h] way "? an electrical
wire10 he told u4 8,t wd knock \ !
p[]1 & ,mrs4 ,m5try mi<t h fall5 9 !
hole
"333333
"9,:y is "ey"o say+ 8a squirrel08
-----------------------------------#gi
9 ! floor40
  8,,w[10 we all sd1 : is 8,,mom0
upside d[n4
  8,if ,di7] *ew$ "? a live electrical
wire10 ,mr4 ,h>rison told u1 8%e
probably got ! %ock ( h] life4 ,"!
mi<t 2 a fri$ squirrel d[n "!40
  8,ewwww1 gross60 we all sd4
  8,poor ,di7]10 sd ,emily4
  8,i wond] :at fri$ squirrel ta/es
l10 ask$ ,ryan4                    #dc
  8,fri$ squirrel wd h to 2       a#gi
cook$ 9 .1oil10 ,&rea sd4 8,t's :at
,8fri$,0 m1ns4 ,if ,di7] 0
electrocut$1 %e wd h be5 broil$ or
bak$4 ,i take a cook+ class af s*ool1
s ,i "k ^! ?+s40
-----------------------------------#hj
  ,:y c't an electrocut$ squirrel fall
on ,&rea's h1d8
  8,wait a m9ute60 sd ,alexia4 8,if
,mrs4 ,m5try t\*es t live wire1 %e cd
get ! %ock ( h] life1 too60
  8,y're "r60 sd ,mr4 ,h>rison4
  ,we got d[n on \r knees >.d ! hole4
  8,mrs4 ,m5try1 >e y d[n "!80 ,mi*ael
holl]$4
-----------------------------------#ha
  ,"! 0 a l;g pause1 & !n 444
  8,( .1c\rse ,i'm d[n "h60 yell$ a
f>away voice4 8,:y is "! a hole 9 !
floor8 ,i'm go+ to sue ! s*ool60
  ,mrs4 ,m5try s.d$ pretty mad4
  8,! s*ool is fifty ye>s old10 ,mr4
,h>rison yell$ 9to ! hole4 8,/uff is
br1k+ all ! "t40
  8,tell me :at y see10 ,neil     a#ha
yell$4 8,any d1d squirrels d[n "!80
  8,i c't see .1any?+60 ,mrs4 ,m5try
%\t$ back4 8,get me \ ( "h6 ,i ne$ to
call my lawy]40
  8,don't t\* any wires1 ,mrs4
,m5try10 ,&rea w>n$ h]4
  ,mr4 ,h>rison look$ at u s]i\sly4
-----------------------------------#hb
  8,i'm too big to fit "? ? hole1
kids10 he sd4 8,a few ( y ne$ to g d[n
"! & help get ,mrs4 ,m5try \40
  ,we all want$ to g d[n ! hole except
= ,emily1 :o 0 sc>$1 (
-----------------------------------#hc
c\rse4 ,mr4 ,h>rison *ose ! sk9nie/
"os,-me1 ,&rea1 ,alexia1 & ,ryan,-to g
d[n "! & rescue ,mrs4 ,m5try4
  ,we l[]$ \rvs "? ! hole "o at a "t4
,x 0 sc>y1 b excit+1 too4 ,! c&les on
\r cake didn't give (f a lot ( li<t4
  8,i'm d[n10 ,i sd :5 my
-----------------------------------#hd
feet t\*$ ! bottom4 ,x 0 du/y & dirty4
  8,mrs4 ,m5try80 ,&rea ask$4      #de
8,": >e y80                       a#hd
  ,sil;e4
  8,d y see any?+80 ,alexia ask$4
  8,no40
  8,i've j se5 a face10 sd ,ryan4
  8,":80 sd ,&rea4 8,is x ,mrs4
,m5try80
  ,at t mo;t ! sc>ie/ ?+ 9 ! hi/ory (
! _w happ5$4 ,i he>d a deep1 rumbl+
s.d1 !n a cra%4 ,& ! next ?+ ,i knew1
! ceil+ 0 fall+ on top ( u6
  ,x 0 a cave-96
-----------------------------------#he

                 #aa
   ,i ,don't ,want to ,hold ,yr ,h&

8,help60
  ,t 0 ! f/ ^w ,i he>d :5 ,i op5$ my
eyes4 ,i'm n sure if ,i 0 \ = a few
seconds or a few h\rs4 ,x didn't feel
l ,i _h brok5 any b"os or any?+4 ,"! 0
3crete & du/ &
-----------------------------------#hf
junk "h1 "!1 & "ey":4
  8,am ,i d1d80 ,i ask$4          a#hf
  8,i don't ?9k s1 ,>lo10 sd ,&rea4
8,un.s we're bo? d1d40
  ,i knew ,i cdn't 2 d1d1 2c if ,i 0 9
h1v51 ,&rea wdn't 2 "!4
  ,:5 ! du/ _h cle>$1 ,i 0 9 a ll cave
deep 2n ! gr.d ) ,&rea1 ,alexia1 &
,ryan4 ,luckily1 !
-----------------------------------#hg
:ole s*ool _hn't fall5 on \r h1ds4
,except = a few scrat*es1 we 7 all
okay4
  ,i cd h>dly see a ?+4 ,my c&le 0
g"o4 ,my cake 0 g"o too4 ,i 0 cold4 ,?
0 ! wor/ ?+ to happ5 s9ce ,,tv ,turn(f
,week4
  8,we're trapp$10 ,ryan sd1 8l ^?
m9]s 9 ,*ile40
  8,^? m9]s 7 "ugr.d = .1mon?s 2f !y
got rescu$60 sd ,alexia4
  8,hey1 maybe we'll 2 on ,,tv :5 we
get \10 ,i sd4 8,! m9]s 9 ,*ile 7 on
,,tv all ! "t40
  8,,tv80 sd ,&rea1 all excit$4 8,h[ d
                                   #dg
,i look8 ,is my hair mess$ up80    #hh
  ,i cdn't ev5 see ,&rea's dumb hair4
,x 0 too d>k4
  8,w y /op ?9k+ ab h[ y look = once80
,alexia told h]4 8,we cd .1die 9 "h60
  ,die8
  ,i _hn't ev5 ?"\ ab dy+ until
,alexia br"\ x up4 ,i wi%$ ,i cd run
away to ,ant>ctica & g live ) !
p5gu9s4
  ,!n ,i he>d ano!r voice1 9 ! 4t.e4
,x 0 com+ f f> abv \r h1ds4 ,x s.d$ l
,mr4 ,h>rison4
  8,>e y kids okay80 he yell$4
  8,i feel f9e10 yell$ ,&rea4
-----------------------------------#hi
  8,an em]g5cy rescue crew is com+10
he holl]$4 8,!y h a giant drill4
,we'll h y kids \ ( "! soon40
  8,": did !y get a giant drill80 ,i
ask$4
  8,f ,r5t-,a-,giant ,drill10 ,mr4
,h>rison sd4 8,y c r5t any?+40
  8,:at ab ,mrs4 ,m5try80 ,&rea ask$4
8,%e's n ) u40
  8,%e's okay10 ,mr4 ,h>rison     a#hi
sd4 8,j 2f ! cave-91 %e crawl$ \ ( !
hole t ,di7] dug 9 ! playgr.d40
  8,i'll bet %e's r1lly mad10 ,ryan
sd4 8,%e'll probably n"e visit \r
s*ool ag40
  ,mr4 ,h>rison told u t x mi<t take
-----------------------------------#ij
! em]g5cy rescue crew a few h\rs to
drill a hole "? ! ce;t & pull u \ t
way4 ,he s.d$ r1lly upset4
  8,i %d h "kn bett]10 he sd4 8,i n"e
%d h let y kids g d[n "!40
  8,x's okay1 ,mr4 ,h>rison10 ,&rea
holl]$ up to hm4
  ,i sat on ! floor 2t ,&rea &
,alexia4 ,ryan sat acr f u4 ,"! wasn't
a lot ( room1 s we _h to sit close
tgr4
  8,i'm sc>$10 ,&rea sd4 8,:at if !y
c't rescue u8 ,hold my h&1 ,>lo40
  8,i'm n hold+ yr h&10 ,i told h]4
8,hold ,ryan's h&40
-----------------------------------#ia
  8,i don't want to hold h] h&10   #di
,ryan sd4                         a#ia
  8,i want to hold .1yr h&1 ,>lo10
,&rea sd4
  8,don't bo!r me10 ,i told h]4
  8,hey1 ,i want to hold ,a4,j4's h&1
.1too10 sd ,alexia4
  8,i ask$ if ,i cd hold ,>lo's h&
.1f/10 ,&rea told ,alexia4
  8,s80 ,alexia sd4 8,y get to hold 8
h& all ! "t4 ,x's my turn to hold 8
h&40
  8,/op fi<t+60 ,i told !m4 8,i don't
want to hold .1ei ( yr h&s40
  ,t's :5 ! weirde/ ?+ 9 ! hi/ory ( !
_w happ5$4 ,&rea
-----------------------------------#ib
& ,alexia />t$ .1cry+4
  8,okay1 okay10 ,i sd4 8,i'll hold
.1bo? ( yr h&s4 ,j /op cry+40
  ,i held h&s ) ,&rea & ,alexia4 ,u<1
4gu/+6
  8.1,ooooo6 ,y're hold+ h&s 9 ! d>k )
two girls1 ,a4,j410 sd ,ryan4 8,y m/ 2
9 .1love ) !m60
  8,quiet1 dumbh1d10 ,i told ,ryan4
  ,i _h to sit 9 ! d>k & hold     a#ib
h&s ) ,&rea & ,alexia = a million
hundr$ h\rs4 ,i ?"\ ,i 0 gonna die4
-----------------------------------#ic
  8,isn't ? romantic1 ,>lo80 ,&rea
ask$4
  8,no40
  8,i wi% we / _h \r c&les10 sd
,alexia4
  8,c&les >e .1s romantic10 sd ,&rea4
  8,y1h10 ,i sd1 8p m/ h be5 romantic
all ! "t 2f ,?omas ,$ison 9v5t$ !
li<tbulb40
  ,we 7 d[n "! = a million hundr$
h\rs4 ,x didn't seem l we 7 .1"e go+
to 2 rescu$4
  8,>lo10 ,&rea sd4 8,d y want to "k a
secret80
  8,no40
  8,in case we don't make x \ ( "h1 ,i
-----------------------------------#id
want to tell y "s?+10 sd ,&rea1 8"s?+
,i've be5 want+ to tell y = a l;g "t40
  8,i don't want to he> x40
  8,%e loves y10 sd ,alexia4       #ea
  8,t's n :at ,i 0 go+ to say60   a#id
,&rea sd4 8,:at ,i want$ to say was,-0
  ,b %e didn't get ! *.e to f9i% h]
s5t;e1 2c at t v mo;t we he>d a l\d
drill+ s.d abv u4
  8,!y're com+ to rescue u60 ,i %\t$4
  ,we all *e]$4 ,f9ally1 ,i cd let g (
! girls' h&s4
  ,! drill+ got l\d]1 & a few m9utes
lat] we saw a ll hole op5 up abv \r
h1ds4 ,mr4 ,h>rison put 8
-----------------------------------#ie
eyeball ag/ ! hole4
  8,:5 >e y go+ to get u \ ( "h80 ,i
%\t$ up at hm4
  8,any "t at all10 he sd4 8,x won't 2
l;g4 ,i'm fix+ a hole4 ,i'll get y4 ,i
w4 ,we c "w x \4 ,i've got a feel+4
,all ,i've got to d 4440
  ,mr4 ,h>rison wasn't mak+ any s5se
at all4
  8,:at %d we d80 ,i ask$4
  8,i ne$ y10 he sd4 8,see t big rock
ov] "!8 ,move x ov] to ! side s !
drill c get "?40
  ,i tri$ to move ! rock1 b x 0   a#ie
too h1vy4
  8,i'm s tir$10 ,i groan$4
-----------------------------------#if
  ,ryan & ! girls crawl$ ov] to help4
  8,dig x10 ,mr4 ,h>rison told u4
8,c>ry t wei<t4 ,all tgr n[4 ,don't
let me d[n40
  ,all f\r ( u pu%$ ag/ ! rock z h>d z
we cd4 ,f9ally1 ) a ll help f my frs1
,i 0 able to slide x \ ( ! way4
  8,okay60 ,mr4 ,h>rison sd4 8,we're
go+ to drill ag4 ,wait4 ,get back40
  ,we mov$ \ ( ! way1 & ! drill />t$
up ag4 ,x 0 r1lly l\d4 ,pieces
-------------------------------#ig-#ih
( ce;t 7 fall+ >.d u4 ,x 0 sc>y & cool
at ! same "t4
  ,& !n1 sudd5ly1 ! drill came "?1 &
we cd see a big hole op5 abv u4 ,li<t
flood$ in4 ,we cd he> all ! kids
up/airs *e]+4
  8,"h comes ! sun60 ,i %\t$4
  8,we're sav$60 ,&rea yell$4
  ,we 7 ab to climb up "? ! hole   #ec
:5 ,i he>d a noise 9 ! corn]4     a#ih
,"! 0 move;t4
  8,:at's t80 ,alexia ask$4
  8,maybe x's ! fri$ squirrel10 sd
,ryan4
  8,x's n a fri$ squirrel60 sd ,&rea4
8,x's a .1live squirrel4 ,x's ,di7]60
  8,,eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek60
-----------------------------------#ii

                 #ab
            ,sup]squirrel

,a live squirrel 0 />+ at me1 no m ?an
two feet away6 ,ryan1 ,&rea1 ,alexia1
& ,i climb$ \ ( t hole 9 ! gr.d l \r
pants 7 on fire4 ,y %d h be5 "!6 ,i
?"\ ,i 0 gonna die6
----------------------------------#ajj
  8,if ,di7] *ew$ "? ! electrical
wire1 h[ come %e didn't get
electrocut$80 ,ryan ask$ me :5 we got
to ! top4
  8,%e m/ h sup]squirrel p[]s10 ,i
told hm4
  ,& !n ! weirde/ ?+ 9 !         a#ajj
hi/ory ( ! _w happ5$4 ,di7] jump$ \ (
! hole af u6 ,%e look$ all sc>$1 l %e
didn't "k :at to d or ": to g4 ,%e 0
sitt+ "! look+ at "eybody4
----------------------------------#aja
  8.1,oooh6 ,look at ! cute squirrel10
all ! girls yell$4 8,x's adorable60
  8,kill x60 yell$ all ! boys4
  ,we />t$ *as+ ,di7] d[n ! hall4 ,i
didn't "k :at we 7 go+ to d if we
cau<t h]1 b x 0 fun anyway4 ,f9ally1
"o ( ! t1*]s op5$ a door & ,di7] ran \
( ! s*ool4

,:5 we got back to ! front (fice1 all
! li<ts 9 ! s*ool sudd5ly w5t back on
ag4 ,"eybody *e]$4
  ,ella ,m5try 0 /&+ by h]f 9 ! front
hallway wait+ = a ride home4 ,"! 0
dirt on h] face1 & h] clo!s look$ k9d
( muddy & mess$ up4 ,%e
----------------------------------#ajb
didn't look v happy4
  8,i'll 2 on my way10 %e sd :5    #ee
%e saw u4                        a#ajb
  8,i'm s glad y're okay1 ,mrs4
,m5try10 sd ,&rea4 8,w y come back &
visit u ag "s"t80
----------------------------------#ajc
  8,sure10 %e repli$1 8ov] my d1d
body40
  ,hip hip hooray6 ,ella ,m5try is go+
to come back & visit u af %e's d1d6
  8,gdbye10 we all sd :5 a c> pull$ up
to drive h] home4

,af x 0 ov]1 we 7 on ! ,,tv news1 & "!
0 a picture 9 ! newspap] ( me 2+ *as$
\ ( ! hole by ,di7] ! sup]squirrel4 ,x
0 a r1l ,kodak mo;t4 ,kids 7 ask+ me =
my autograph4 ,i 0 a fam\s celebr;y1 l
t ,snooki lady on ,,tv4
  ,maybe we'll get \r [n r1l;y ,,tv
%[4 ,maybe ,ella ,m5try w sue ,ella
,m5try ,s*ool4 ,maybe ,mr4 ,h>rison
r1lly
----------------------------------#ajd
is "o ( ! ,b1tles4 ,maybe ,di7] w dig
ano!r hole 9to ! s*ool4 ,maybe ,mr4
,granite w get "? page tw5ty-    a#ajd
?ree 9 \r ma? book4 ,maybe ,mrs4
,lilly w f9ally get a scoop s %e c
pick up h] dog's poop4 ,maybe gr[n-ups
w
----------------------------------#aje
/op dr9k+ s m* c(fee4 ,maybe ,i'll f9d
\ :at ,&rea want$ to say to me :5 we 7
trapp$ 9 ! cave-94 ,maybe we'll f9ally
get (f ! fritz4 ,maybe we'll 2 able to
talk ,mrs4 ,m5try 9to com+ back to
visit \r s*ool ag :ile %e's / alive4
  ,b x won't 2 easy6

                ,! ,5D
----------------------------------#ajf

  ,)9 ? book >e hidd5 ! titles to =ty-
five ,b1tle s;gs4 ,h[ _m ( ^! c y f9d8
,ask yr mom or dad to help4

8,gd ,morn+1 ,gd ,morn+0
8,ye/]"d0
8,i ,want to ,hold ,yr ,h&0
8,hello ,ll ,girl0                 #eg
8,tell ,me ,:y0                  a#ajf
8,2c0
8,bir?"d0
8,run = ,yr ,life0
8,no ,reply0
8,i ,saw ,h] ,/&+ ,"!0
8,y ,won't ,see ,me0
8,y ,c't ,d ,t0
8,tell ,me ,:at ,y ,see0
8,i'm ,d[n0
8,i've ,j ,se5 a ,face0
8,help60
8,"h1 ,"!1 & ,"ey":0
8,i ,feel ,f9e0
8,i ,%d ,h ,"kn ,bett]0
8,don't ,bo!r ,me0
8,d ,y ,want to ,"k a ,secret80
8,i ,want to ,tell ,y0
8,"s?+0
8,%e ,loves ,y0
8,any ,"t at ,all0
8,x ,won't ,2 ,l;g0
8,fix+ a ,hole0
8,i'll ,get ,y0
8,i ,w0
8,we ,c ,"w ,x ,\0               b#ajf
8,i've ,got a ,feel+0
8,all ,i've ,got to ,d0
8,i ,ne$ ,y0
8,i'm ,s ,tir$0
8,dig ,x0
8,c>ry ,t ,wei<t0
8,all ,tgr ,n[0
8,don't ,let ,me ,d[n0
8,) a ,ll ,help f ,my ,frs0
8,wait0
8,get ,back0
8,"h ,comes ! ,sun0
8,i'll ,2 on ,my ,way0
8,gdbye0
8,! ,5d0

             @.<,! ,5d@.>






                                   #ei