,my ,weird] ,s*ool _?#aj ,mr4 ,jack ,is a ,maniac6 ,dan ,gutman ,9 #a ,volume ,brl ,pages t#a-t#b1 p#a & #a-#ef ,pr9t ,pages #a-a#ajf ,sponsor$ & ,pres5t$ by3 ,am]ican ,ac;n ,fund = ,bl ,*n & ,adults #ahjj ,johnson ,/reet ,baltimore1 ,m>yl& #babcj www4ac;nfund4org ,produc$ at ,na;nal ,brl ,press www4nbp4org t#a ,text copy"r ^c #bjad by ,dan ,gutman ,publi%$ by ,h>p],coll9s ,*n's ,books1 a divi.n ( ,h>p],coll9s ,publi%]s1 #aie ,broadway1 ,new ,york1 ,,ny #ajjjg4 ,,isbn #igh-#j-#jf-#baihad-#i www4h>p]coll9s*ildr5s4com ,to ,>*ie & ,emi ,silv]/e9 ,3t5ts #a4 ,! ;,h ,^w """""""""""""""""""" #a #b4 ,mr4 ,jack ,is ,cool """""""""" #i #c4 ,w1pons ( ,mass ,de/ruc;n """" #ah #d4 ,/ep ,\tside """"""""""""""""" #bg #e4 ,butt-,kick+ ,"t """"""""""""" #cf #f4 ,sweet ,rev5ge """"""""""""""" #dg #g4 ,! ,key to ,self-,def5se """"" #ef #h4 ,9timida;n """"""""""""""""""" #fg #i4 ,don't ,try ,? at ,home """""" #gd #aj4 ,! ,em]g5cy """"""""""""""""" #hc #aa4 ,t1m"w """""""""""""""""""""" #ie #ab4 ,! ,f/ ,rule ( ,2+ a ,kid "" #ajb p#a ,my ,weird] ,s*ool _?#aj #a ,mr4 ,jack ,is a ,maniac6 #a ,! ;,h ,^w ,my "n is ,a4,j4 & ,i hate hate4 ,let me expla94 ,x 0 a r1lly nice "d1 s ,dr4 ,brad1 ! s*ool c\nselor1 took \r class \ to ! playgr.d to talk4 ,we sat 9 a circle ne> ! monkey b>s4 ,dr4 ,brad 0 tell+ u h[ kids ne$ to 2 nic] to ea* o!r4 ------------------------------------#b 8,8,hate,0 is n a nice v]d10 ,dr4 ,brad told us4"9 8,vee %d try to 2 k9d & tol]ant ( uzz] p1 ev5 if vee don't l zem s m*4 ,zuh v]ld v\ld 2 a bett] place if z>e vuz less hate1 no8 ,s try n to use zat v]d40 8,i hate hate10 ,i sd4 8,i c't ?9k ( any?+ ,i hate m ?an hate10 sd ,ryan1 :o w eat any?+1 ev5 /uff t isn't food4 8,i hate p :o hate p10 sd #a ,mi*ael1 :o n"e ties 8 %oes4 a#b ,"eybody agre$ t !y hat$ hate4 ,well1 "eybody except ,&rea ,"y1 "333333 "9,dr4 ,brad talks funny4 ,if y r1d ? book \ l\d1 make hm s.d l a crazy ,g]man mad sci5ti/4 ------------------------------------#c ? annoy+ girl ) curly br[n hair4 8,if we %dn't hate ?+s10 ,&rea sd1 8!n we %dn't hate hate4 ,"r80 ,huh8 8,y1h1 we %d .1l hate10 sd h] crybaby fr ,emily1 :o agrees ) "ey?+ ,&rea says4 8,b x wd 2 wr;g to l hate10 sd ,neil1 :o we call ! nude kid ev5 ?\< he we>s clo!s4 8,i hate hate1 b ,i hate hat+ hate1 too10 sd ,alexia1 ? girl :o rides a skatebo>d "ey":4 ,i ?"\ my h1d 0 go+ to explode4 ,i hate :5 t happ5s4 8,nobody hates hate m ?an ,i hate hate10 sd ,ryan4 #d 8,i hate hate m ?an .1y hate hate60 sd ,mi*ael4 8,y d n60 8,i d too60 ,!y w5t back & =? l t = a :ile4 8,hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate10 "eybody 0 say+4 8,,,%top zay+ hate6,'0 ,dr4 ,brad %\t$4 8,b .1y j sd x60 ,i told hm4 ,dr4 ,brad clos$ 8 eyes & ru2$ 8 =eh1d ) 8 f+]s4 ,did y "e notice t only gr[n-ups rub _! =eh1d ) _! f+]s8 ,kids n"e d ------------------------------------#e t4 ,i guess :5 y gr[ up1 yr =eh1d gets it*y4 ,gr[n-ups >e 3/antly ru2+ _! =eh1d ) _! f+]s4 8,zuh po9t is10 sd ,dr4 ,brad1 8vee %d try to use zuh ;,h v]d less1 & .1love ea* uzz] m40 ,"eybody />t$ gi7l+ & pok+ ea* o!r ) _! elb[s1 2c ,dr4 ,brad sd ! ;,l ^w4 ,any"t "sbody says 8love10 y %d #c />t gi7l+ & pok+ ! p]son next to a#e y ) yr elb[4 ,t's ! f/ rule ( 2+ a kid4 8.1,y "k vut ,i m1n10 ,dr4 ,brad sd4 8,if y h a 4agree;t viz "svon1 y %d try to talk x \ 9/1d ( fi ! woods at ! 5d ( ! playgr.d4 ,we're n suppos$ to play back "!4 ,\r pr9cipal1 ,mr4 ,klutz1 once told u t he saw a big1 black be> \ "! "o "d4 ,he 0 probably j kidd+1 b ,i /ay away f ! back ( ! playgr.d anyway1 2c ,i don't want to get attack$ by a big1 black be>4 ,t's :5 ! mo/ amaz+ ?+ 9 ! hi/ory ( ! _w happ5$6 ,"! 0 a l\d s.d 9 ! trees4 ,we all turn$ >.d4 ,& y'll n"e 2lieve 9 a million hundr$ ye>s :at came ro>+ \ ( ! woods4 ,no1 x wasn't a big1 black be>4 ,ha6 ,y ?"\ x 0 a big1 black #g be>1 didn't y8 ,well1 nah-nah-nah boo-boo on y1 2c x wasn't4 ,x 0 a big1 black .1motorcycle4 ,a big1 black1 .1l\d motorcycle4 ,& x 0 com+ /rai$1 ! guy rid+ ! motorcycle took (f 8 helmet4 ,he _h deep-blue eyes & l;g1 d>k hair4 ,he sd only "o ^w4 8,yo40 ------------------------------------#i #b ,mr4 ,jack ,is ,cool ,is 8yo0 ev5 a ^w8 ,i "k t 8yo-yo0 is a ^w4 ,i saw ? guy at a toy /ore once :o did yo-yo tricks4 ,he cd fl+ ! ?+ abv 8 #e h1d1 2t 8 legs1 & all ov] ! a#i place4 ,yo-yos >e cool4 ,": 0 ,i8 ,oh1 y1h1 x doesn't matt] if 8yo0 is a ^w or n1 2c ! -----------------------------------#aj motorcycle guy sd x4 ,& if y say x1 ,i guess1 x m/ 2 a ^w4 8,:o's .1he80 "eybody 0 ask+4 8,he's .1cool10 sd ,neil ! nude kid4 8,he looks l a movie />60 sd ,alexia4 8,he's h&"s60 sd ,&rea4 8,he's .1dr1my60 sd ,emily4 ,! motorcycle guy turn$ (f 8 motorcycle4 ,he 0 we>+ l1!r pants1 l1!r %oes1 a l1!r belt1 & a l1!r jacket4 ,t guy m/ .1r1lly l l1!r6 ,i wond]$ h[ _m c[s _h to die to make 8 clo!s4 ,he r1*$ 9to 8 pocket & pull$ \ a comb4 ,!n he />t$ comb+ 8 hair 9 sl[ mo;n4 ,do+ any?+ 9 -----------------------------------#aa sl[ mo;n is cool4 ,i saw ? ,,tv %[ once ": !y dropp$ wat]melons \ ( a t5-/ory build+ & y cd see !m a#aa hit ! gr.d & explode 9 sl[ mo;n4 ,t 0 cool4 8,excuse me1 sir10 sd ,dr4 ,brad4 8,may ,i ask :o y >e & vut y >e do+ on s*ool prop]ty80 -----------------------------------#ab ,! motorcycle guy didn't say any?+ = a l;g "t4 ,he j />$ at ,dr4 ,brad ) 8 deep-blue eyes4 8,my "n is ,mr4 ,jack10 he f9ally sd4 8,y c call me 444 ,mr4 ,jack40 8,b yr .1"n is ,mr4 ,jack10 sd ,ryan4 8,i "k10 sd ,mr4 ,jack4 8,t's :y y %d call me ,mr4 ,jack40 8,don't y want u to call y "s?+ .19/1d .1( ,mr4 ,jack80 ask$ ,mi*ael4 8,no4 ,:y80 ask$ ,mr4 ,jack4 8,:5 p say ,8,y c call me1,0 t usually m1ns we %d call !m "s?+ .1di6]5t f _! regul> "n10 ,i told hm4 8,n ? "t10 sd ,mr4 ,jack4 -----------------------------------#ac ,t guy is weird4 #g ,! recess bell rang1 & kids a#ac came p\r+ \ ( ! s*ool4"9 ,!y m/ h se5 ! motorcycle1 2c a :ole bun* ( !m came runn+ ov] & ga!r$ >.d ,mr4 ,jack4 ,s did "s ( ! t1*]s4 8,well1 .1hello10 sd \r gym t1*]1 ,miss ,small4 ,%e 0 all gi7ly & %e />t$ fuss+ ) h] hair4 8,hi "!1 /rang]10 sd ,miss ,holly1 \r ,spani% t1*]4 ,%e 0 blu%+ & />t$ fann+ h]f ) h] h&4 8,new 9 t[n80 ask$ ,ms4 ,hannah1 \r "333333 "9,well1 n r1lly4 ,y p\r /uff \ ( a pit*]1 n \ ( a s*ool4 -------------------------------#ad-#ae >t t1*]4 ,%e pull$ a ll mirror \ ( h] pocket & />t$ putt+ makeup on h] face4 ,all ! lady t1*]s 7 gi7l+ & blu%+ & fuss+ ) _! hair & fann+ !mvs & look+ 9 ll mirrors4 ,ladies alw d t /uff :5 !y're 9 love4 ,nobody "ks :y4 ,miss ,small look$ l %e 0 go+ to fa9t4 8,:at's yr "n1 sug>80 ask$ ,miss ,laney1 \r spee* t1*]4 8,hello1 ladies4 ,my "n is a#ae ,mr4 ,jack4 ,y c call me 444 ,mr4 ,jack40 8,well10 gi7l$ ,miss ,holly1 8y c call me 444 available40 ,dr4 ,brad pu%$ 8 way to ! front s he cd talk to ,mr4 ,jack4 -----------------------------------#af 8,i'm sorry1 sir1 b vut y >e do+ is call$ trespass+10 sd ,dr4 ,brad4 8,zis is s*ool prop]ty4 ,y ne$ to l1ve40 8,oh1 y1h80 sd ,mr4 ,jack4 8,:o's gonna .1make me80 8.1,oooooooooh60 we all sd4 ,any"t "sbody says 8,:o's gonna make me80 y h to say 8.1,oooooooooh60 ,t's ! f/ rule ( 2+ a kid4 8,i suppose .1,i'm go+ to make y10 sd ,dr4 ,brad4 8,oh1 y1h80 sd ,mr4 ,jack4 8,y & :at >my80 8.1,oooooooooh60 ,any"t "sbody says 8,y & :at >my80 y h to say 8.1,oooooooooh60 ,t's ! second rule ( 2+ a kid4 #i 8,i'm sc>$10 sd ,emily1 :o's #ag sc>$ ( "ey?+4 ,dr4 ,brad 0 look+ at ,mr4 ,jack4 ,mr4 ,jack 0 look+ at ,dr4 ,brad4 ,we 7 all look+ at ,dr4 ,brad & ,mr4 ,jack4 ,well1 ! girls 7 pretty m* j look+ at ,mr4 ,jack4 ,at t mo;t1 ! back door ( ! s*ool op5$1 & a bun* ( male t1*]s came \,- ,mr4 ,macky1 ,mr4 ,granite1 ,mr4 ,lor+1 ,mr4 ,dock]4 ,ev5 ,mr4 ,l\ie1 \r s*ool cross+ gu>d1 & ,mr4 ,tony1 ! af-s*ool program director1 came \4 ,!y all ran ov] & made a circle >.d ,mr4 ,jack4 8.1,zees >my60 sd ,dr4 ,brad4 8.1,oooooooooh60 -----------------------------------#ah #c ,w1pons ( ,mass ,de/ruc;n 8,:o .1is ? guy80 ask$ ,mr4 ,macky1 \r r1d+ speciali/4 8,his "n is ,mr4 ,jack10 ,i sd4 8,b y c call hm ,mr4 ,jack40 a#ah 8,okay1 ,mr4 ,jack10 sd \r sci;e t1*]1 ,mr4 ,dock]4 8,? is s*ool prop]ty4 ,y c't /ay "h4 ,we h y -----------------------------------#ai \tnumb]$4 ,if y won't l1ve on yr [n1 we're go+ to h to .1make y l1ve40 8,oh1 let hm /ay10 sd ,miss ,holly4 8,he's .1cute40 8,y1h10 sd all ! lady t1*]s4 8,he's cute60 ,!n !y all />t$ gi7l+4 8,? is go+ to 2 .1cool10 ,ryan :isp]$ to me4 8,n[ zees is exactly zuh k9d ( situa;n ,i vus tell+ y *n ab10 sd ,dr4 ,brad4 8,vee >e hav+ a ll 4agree;t "h4 ,v5 mature adults h 4agree;ts1 zuh be/ vay to settle zem is to h an op5 & h"o/ 4cus.n 9/1d ( fi4 ,mr4 ,jack jump$ 9to a k>ate pose4 8,i m/ w>n ! re/ ( y fell[s10 he sd1 8^! h&s >e dang]\s tools4 ,9 fact1 ,i _h to h !m regi/]$ ) ! gov]n;t z w1pons ( mass de/ruc;n40 ,mr4 ,jack's h&s look$ j l regul> h&s to me4 ,b :at d ,i "k ab k>ate8 8,we're n afraid10 sd ,mr4 ,tony4 8,come on1 boys4 ,let's .1take hm60 -----------------------------------#bb ,) t1 ,mr4 ,tony *>g$ at ,mr4 ,jack4 8.1,eeee-yah60 scr1m$ ,mr4 ,jack4 ,he spun >.d fa/1 gra2$ ,mr4 ,tony's >ms1 gave hm a kick 9 ! butt1 & s5t hm tumbl+ to ! gr.d4 8,i don't approve ( viol;e on s*ool prop]ty10 sd ,&rea4 8,:at d y h ag/ viol9s80 ,i ask$ h]4 8,n viol9s1 ,>lo60 ,&rea %\t$ a#bb at me4 8,viol;e60 8,oh1 t's di6]5t10 ,i sd4 ,mr4 ,tony got up1 & ! o!r male t1*]s came af ,mr4 ,jack1 "o at a "t4 ,mr4 ,granite jump$ on ,mr4 ,jack4 ,mr4 ,jack flipp$ hm sideways4 ,mr4 ,granite 0 flat on 8 back4 -----------------------------------#bc ,mr4 ,l\ie tri$ to grab ,mr4 ,jack's legs4 ,mr4 ,jack jump$ up & l&$ on ,mr4 ,l\ie4 8.1,eeee-yah60 scr1m$ ,mr4 ,jack4 8,hide yr eyes1 ,emily60 ,&rea sd4 8,? k9d ( 2havior is def9itely n appropriate = *n40 ,mr4 ,macky & ,mr4 ,lor+ *>g$ at ,mr4 ,jack1 b ,mr4 ,jack gra2$ bo? ( !m at ! same "t & bonk$ _! h1ds tgr4 8.1,eeee-yah60 scr1m$ ,mr4 ,jack4 8.1,ooo(60 grunt$ ,mr4 ,lor+ z he hit ! gr.d ) a ?ud4 ,"o by "o1 ,mr4 ,jack kick$ all _! butts4 ,x 0 l wat*+ pr(es.nal wre/l+ on ,,tv1 b )\t ! ,,tv4 #ac ,all ! lady t1*]s 7 gi7l+ #bd-#bf & blu%+ & fuss+ ) _! hair & fann+ !mvs & look+ at _! faces 9 ll mirrors4 ,all ! male t1*]s 7 sprawl$ on ! gr.d1 moan+ & groan+4 ,x 0 hil>i\s4 8,i guess y fell[s w ?9k twice 2f mess+ ) ,mr4 ,jack ag10 sd ,mr4 ,jack4 ,!n he />t$ comb+ 8 hair4 8,h[ d ,i look80 he ask$4 8,does anybody want my autograph80 -----------------------------------#bg #d ,/ep ,\tside ,y'll n"e 2lieve 9 a million hundr$ ye>s :o came runn+ \ ( ! s*ool at t mo;t4 ,x 0 ,mr4 ,klutz1 \r pr9cipal6 ,he's l ! presid5t ( ! _w4 ,mr4 ,klutz has no hair at all4 ,i m1n .1n"o4 ,!y %d put a sol> panel on 8 h1d to g5]ate electric;y4 -----------------------------------#bh 8,:at's go+ on \ "h80 ,mr4 ,klutz dem&$4 ,nobody sd a ^w4 ,"eybody a#bh /epp$ \ ( ! way4 ,mr4 ,jack & ,mr4 ,klutz 7 /&+ "!1 />+ at ea* o!r4 ,y cd he> a p9 drop4"9 8,? playgr.d a9't big 5 f] ! bo? ( u1 p>dn]10 sd ,mr4 ,jack4 8,i reckon x a9't1 p>dn]10 sd ,mr4 ,klutz4 ,:y 7 !y talk+ l x 0 ! ,wild ,we/8 ,t 0 weird4 8,i don't l ! s.d ( ?10 ,&rea sd4 "333333 "9,?at is1 if any"o _h a p9 & dropp$ x4 -----------------------------------#bi 8,me nei10 sd ,emily4 8,i'm go+ to h to ask y to /ep \tside1 sir10 ,mr4 ,klutz sd4 8,we're alr \tside10 ,mr4 ,jack repli$4 8,oh1 y1h40 ,mr4 ,jack turn$ to face u4 8,%d ,i b1t ? guy up too80 he ask$4 8,y1h60 %\t$ all ! boys4 #ae 8,no60 %\t$ all ! girls4 #cj ,mr4 ,jack took two qk /eps =w>d & dove at ,mr4 ,klutz's legs1 knock+ hm d[n4 ,!n he pick$ up ,mr4 ,klutz & rais$ hm hi< ov] 8 h1d4 8,help60 ,mr4 ,klutz %\t$4 8,put me d[n60 8.1,eeee-yah60 scr1m$ ,mr4 ,jack4 ,mr4 ,jack spun >.d a few "ts4 ,!n he dropp$ ,mr4 ,klutz on ! gr.d & sat on hm s he cdn't get up4 ,y %d h be5 "!6 ,x 0 amaz+6 ,:at happ5$ next 0 ev5 .1m amaz+4 ,mr4 ,jack got up & help$ ,mr4 ,klutz to 8 feet4 ,!y %ook h&s & -----------------------------------#ca hu7$ ea* o!r4 ,!n all ! male t1*]s came ov] to %ake h&s ) ,mr4 ,jack4 ,s did all ! lady t1*]s4 ,!n .1all ! t1*]s got 9 a l9e & took a b[1 l !y 7 9 a play or "s?+4 ,a few kids />t$ clapp+ _! h&s1 & !n ! re/ ( u broke 9to applause4 8,zank y1 ,zank y10 sd ,dr4 ,brad4 8,y all did a v"u;l job40 8,wait a m9ute60 ,i %\t$4 8,y a#ca m1n to say t wasn't a .1r1l fin a few -----------------------------------#cb basic self-def5se moves 9 case ( em]g5cy10 ,mr4 ,klutz told u4 8,x's a dang]\s _w \ "! & blah blah blah blah blah blah blah4 ,"ey"o ne$s to blah blah blah blah blah blah blah4 ,t's :y ,i hir$ ,mr4 ,jack to sp5d ! re/ ( ! "d ) u40 8,hooray60 we all %\t$4 8,any "qs80 ask$ ,mr4 ,jack4 8,y're r1lly gd at k>ate10 sd ,mi*ael4 8,d y h a black belt80 8,let me put x ? way10 sd ,mr4 ,jack4 8,i .1d h a belt1 & x's black40 8,w[1 he has a black belt60 ,i %\t$4 ,i alw want$ to take k>ate classes1 b my p>5ts sd ,i _h to wait until ,i #ag 0 9 f\r? grade4 #cc-#cd 8,:o wants to 2 door clos] = ! "d80 ask$ ,mr4 ,klutz z we all walk$ back 9side ! s*ool4 8,me6 ,me6 ,i d60 we all %\t$4 ,"eybody want$ to 2 door clos] = ! "d4 ,t's an important job1 2c y h to 2 sure to close ! door4 ,if ! door clos] = ! "d doesn't close ! door1 a wild animal mie ! door clos] = ! "d10 ,mr4 ,klutz sd4 8,yes6 ,i rule60 ,af ,i clos$ ! door1 ,i ran up ah1d s ,i cd talk to ,mr4 ,jack4 8,>e y go+ to t1* u h[ to b1t p up80 ,i ask$ hm4 8,up1 d[n1 & sideways1 baby60 he repli$4 ,? 0 gonna 2 .1cool6 a#ce -----------------------------------#cf #e ,butt-,kick+ ,"t ,mr4 ,jack l$ "eybody 9to ! gym4 ,i /ood 2t ,ryan & ,mi*ael4 ,we 7 all excit$4 ,we'd se5 a lot ( k>ate movies1 & a lot ( wre/l+ on ,,tv4 ,f9ally we wd get to kick "s butt l ^? guys4 8,d we get to kick butt n[80 ,i -----------------------------------#cg ask$ ,mr4 ,jack4 8,f/1 we ne$ to w>m up ) /ret*+ ex]cises10 ,mr4 ,jack told u4 8,i don't want any"o to get hurt40 ,t made s5se1 ,i guess4 8,"eybody r1* up & t\* ! sky10 ,mr4 ,jack told u4 ,we all r1*$ up & t\*$ ! sky4"9 ,!n we t\*$ \r toes4 ,!n we l1n$ backw>d z f> z we cd g4 ,!n we got d[n on ! floor & twi/$ & turn$ & pull$ e #ai "p ( \r bodies = a million a#cg hundr$ m9utes4 ,!n we did jump+ jacks4 ,i ?"\ ,i 0 gonna die6 ,? 0 ! "333333 "9,or :at"e "p ( ! sky 0 "r ov] \r h1ds4 -----------------------------------#ch wor/ ?+ to happ5 s9ce ,,tv ,turn(f ,week4 8,okay1 "eybody sit on ! floor ,8crisscross applesauce1,00 ,mr4 ,jack told u4 ,gr[n-ups us$ to tell u to sit l a pretzel4 ,b t didn't make any s5se1 2c pretzels don't sit4 ,af t1 !y told u to sit 8crisscross applesauce40 ,applesauce doesn't sit ei4 ,b "o "t ,i sat .19 "s applesauce 9 ! vomitorium & got x all ov] my pants4 ,x 0 gross4 8,let u close \r eyes10 ,mr4 ,jack told u4 ,:at8 ,h[ c ,i kick butt ) my eyes clos$8 8,take a deep br1?10 ,mr4 ,jack sd s(tly4 8,n[ exhale4 ,d t ag4 #ci ,deep br1? 444 exhale40 8,excuse me10 ,i sd4 8,:at does ? h to d ) kick+ butt80 8.1,%hhhh10 ,mr4 ,jack sd4 8,a clos$ m\? ga!rs no feet40 8,huh8 ,:at does .1t m1n80 8,x m1ns keep quiet & y won't say any?+ dumb1 ,>lo10 ,&rea sd4 8,x's a wise say+40 ,x didn't s.d v wise to me4 8,hu%10 sd ,mr4 ,jack4 8,f/ y m/ le>n h[ to br1!40 8,i alr "k h[ to br1!10 ,i sd4 8,if ,i didn't "k h[ to br1!1 ,i'd 2 d1d40 -----------------------------------#dj 8.1,%hhhh10 ,mr4 ,jack sd4 8,sit quietly4 ,c y he> yr he>t b1t+80 ,i li/5$ = my he>tb1t4 ,! only ?+ ,i cd he> 0 ! ceil+ fan4 8,keep yr eyes clos$4 ,/>e at ! 9side ( yr eyelids10 ,mr4 ,jack told u4 ,i tri$ to />e at ! 9side ( my eyelids1 b ,i cdn't see any?+4 #ba ,my eyelids _h no?+ on !m4 ,i a#dj wond]$ if "eybody else 0 see+ cool /uff on ! 9side ( _! eyelids4 ,i op5$ my eyes = a second to look1 b !n ,i cdn't see my eyelids anymore4 ,"sbody %d tell ,mr4 ,jack t ! 9side ( \r eyelids is r1lly bor+4 ,!y %d put ,,tv sets 9 "!4 ,!n -------------------------------#da-#db y cd wat* ,,tv :ile y're sleep+4 ,t wd 2 cool4 8,?9k happy ?+s10 ,mr4 ,jack sd4 8,all[ yr /ress & bad feel+s to escape4 ,td is ! tm y worri$ ab ye/]"d40 ,w[1 ,mr4 ,jack 0 l ,yoda f .1,/> .1,w>s1 b tall] & ) muscles4 8,2come "o ) ! univ]se10 ,mr4 ,jack told u4 8,! less y h1 ! m "! is to get40 ,huh8 ,t didn't make any s5se at all4 8,feel ! 5]gy )9 y10 sd ,mr4 ,jack4 8,x's easi] to we> slipp]s ?an to cov] ! e>? ) c>pet40 ,:at8 a#db -----------------------------------#dc 8,let yr t5.n melt away10 sd ,mr4 ,jack4 8,if y hit yr toe ) a hamm] f/ ?+ 9 ! morn+1 no?+ worse c happ5 to y = ! re/ ( ! "d40 ,wait4 .1,:at8 ,i 0 />t+ to ?9k t ,mr4 ,jack 0 crazy4 8,rep1t af me10 he sd4 8,i y+ gah40 .1,,:at86 8,i y+ gah10 we all sd1 ev5 ?\< x made no s5se at all4 8,ag4 ,i y+ gah40 8,i y+ gah 444 ,i y+ gah 444 ,i y+ gah 444 ,i y+ gah 4440 ,we _h to say t dumb .7,i y+ gah.' ?+ ab a million hundr$ "ts4 ,x -----------------------------------#dd 0 ! mo/ bor+ ?+ 9 ! hi/ory ( ! _w4 8,okay1 op5 yr eyes10 ,mr4 ,jack sd4 ,f9ally1 x 0 ov]4 ,:at a relief6 ,mr4 ,jack sd he wd 2 "w+ ) small gr\ps1 s \r class got to /ay 9 ! gym :ile "eybody else w5t to _! classrooms4 #bc 8,does "ey"o feel relax$ n[80 a#dd ,mr4 ,jack ask$ u4 8,yes60 sd all ! girls4 8,no60 sd all ! boys4 8,we don't want to le>n .1t /uff10 ,ryan told ,mr4 ,jack4 8,we want to le>n h[ to kick butt40 8,y1h1 ,mr4 ,klutz didn't br+ y "h -----------------------------------#de to t1* u h[ to br1! & />e at \r eyelids10 sd ,alexia4 8,i ?"\ y 7 suppos$ to %[ u h[ to def5d \rvs 9 case ( em]g5cy40 8,t's exactly :at we're go+ to d10 ,mr4 ,jack repli$4 8,okay4 ,boys on "o side ( ! gym1 girls on ! o!r40 ,all "r6 ,f9ally x 0 butt-kick+ "t6 ,mi*ael l9$ up acr f ,alexia4 ,ryan l9$ up acr f ,emily4 ,neil l9$ up acr f ,annette4 ,& ,i l9$ up acr f 444 ,&rea6 .1,yes6 ,f9ally6 ,af all ^! ye>s ( 2+ annoy$ by ,&rea1 ,i wd get to %[ h] :o's boss4 ,? 0 go+ to 2 ! grte/ "d ( my life4 #df 8,oooooh60 ,ryan sd4 8,a4,j4 l9$ up acr f ,&rea4 ,!y m/ 2 9 love60 8,:5 >e y gonna get m>ri$80 ask$ ,mi*ael4 -----------------------------------#dg #f ,sweet ,rev5ge ,i look$ acr ! gym at ,&rea4 ,%e 0 giv+ me ! evil eye4 ,i put on my m1ne/ m1n face4 ,f9ally ,i wd get back at h] = all ! "ts %e made fun ( me4 ,all ! "ts %e sd m1n ?+s to me4 ,all ! "ts %e did "s?+ bett] ?an me4 ,rev5ge wd 2 .1sweet4 -----------------------------------#dh 8,y're go+ .1d[n60 ,i %\t$1 po9t+ at ,&rea4 8,i don't .1?9k s1 ,>lo10 ,&rea repli$4 ,mr4 ,jack w5t to ! room ": all ! sports equip;t is /or$4 ,he came \ roll+ a big c>t4 ,x 0 full ( #be helmets1 kneepads1 elb[ pads1 & a#dh e o!r k9d ( pads y c ?9k (4 8,d y h any i,pads80 ,i ask$4 8,d we r1lly h to put all ? /uff on80 ask$ ,neil ! nude kid4 8,yes10 ,mr4 ,jack repli$4 8,we don't want any"o to get hurt40 8,:y n80 ,i ask$4 8,isn't ! :ole po9t ( fin+ h[ to def5d \rvs4 ,"!'s a di6];e4 ,wise is ! man :o "ks :5 he runs \ ( 9visible 9k40 .1,:at86 ,mr4 ,jack sure knew a lot ( weird wise say+s4 ,we all put on helmets & pads4 ,af t1 ,mr4 ,jack took \ a giant roll ( pla/ic bu2le wrap & he made u wrap \rvs up 9 x4 ,he s1l$ x ) duct tape4 ,i look$ l a giant m>%mall[4 ,x wd h be5 emb>rass+1 b .1"eybody look$ l giant m>%mall[s1 s x 0 okay4"9 ,mr4 ,jack /uck a "n "333333 a#di "9,if "o p]son dresses up 9 crazy clo!s1 x's weird4 ,b if "eybody dresses up 9 crazy clo!s1 x's .1fa%ion4 -----------------------------------#ej tag on ea* ( u4 8,okay1 ,a4,j410 he sd4 8,:5 ,i c.t to ?ree1 ,i want y to attack ,&rea40 8,) pl1sure60 ,i sd4 8,& ,&rea10 sd ,mr4 ,jack1 8,i want y to d "ey?+ y c to def5d yrf40 8,oh1 ,i w10 ,&rea sd4 8,i w60 -----------------------------------#ea 8,"o 444 two 444 .1?ree60 ,i came *>g+ t[>d ,&rea at full spe$4 ,my plan 0 to tackle h] l we d 9 ,pee ,wee football4 ,b at ! la/ 9/ant1 ,&rea /epp$ aside1 gra2$ my legs1 & flipp$ me ov]4 ,i w5t fly+4 8.1,eeee-yah60 ,&rea scr1m$4 ,i don't "k exactly :at happ5$ next1 b :5 x 0 ov]1 ,i 0 ly+ on ! floor4 ,all ! girls 7 *e]+ & clapp+4 ,all ! boys 7 gi7l+4 #bg ,okay1 ,&rea 0 lucky t "t4 a#ea ,anybody c get lucky once 9 h] life4 ,i got to my feet & came *>g+ at ,&rea ag4 ,? "t1 %e b5t ov] at ! la/ second1 pull$ my >m1 twi/$ -----------------------------------#eb x1 & elb[$ me 9 ! /oma*4 ,once ag1 ,i 0 on ! floor4 8.1,eeee-yah60 ,&rea scr1m$4 ,okay1 ,i m/ h slipp$ t "t4 ,x happ5s4 ,i /ru7l$ to my feet & came *>g+ at ,&rea ag4 ,? "t1 ,i 0 c>e;l n to let h] grab me ) h] h&s4 8.1,eeee-yah60 ,&rea spun >.d on "o foot4 ,! next ?+ ,i knew1 h] o!r foot 0 fly+ at my h1d4 ,i tri$ to duck1 b h] foot caud4 ,i l&$ on ! floor next to ! bl1*]s4 8,nicely d"o1 ,&rea60 sd ,mr4 ,jack1 -----------------------------------#ec clapp+ 8 h&s4 8,": did y le>n h[ to d t80 8,i take k>ate classes af s*ool10 ,&rea sd4 .1,n[ %e tells me4 a#ec -----------------------------------#ed ,i %d h "kn4 ,&rea takes classes 9 .1"ey?+ af s*ool4 ,if !y gave classes 9 h[ to clip yr toenails1 %e wd take t class s %e cd get bett] at x4 8,x looks l ! %oe is on ! o!r foot1 ,>lo10 ,&rea sd1 sne]+ at me4 ,huh8 ,:at did %oes h to d ) any?+8 ,i look$ d[n at my feet to make sure ,i _hn't put my %oes on backw>d4 ,t's :5 ,&rea came *>g+ at me4 ,i put my h&s up at ! la/ second to protect my face1 b %e took a fly+ l1p1 & ! two ( u l&$ 9 a h1p on ! floor1 ) ,&rea sitt+ on top ( me4 ,%e 0 hold+ h] fi/s up 9 ! air -----------------------------------#ee & all ! girls 7 *e]+4 8,oooooh60 ,ryan sd4 8,&rea j totally kick$ ,a4,j4's butt6 ,!y m/ 2 9 love60 8,:5 >e y gonna get m>ri$80 ask$ ,mi*ael4 ,if ^? guys w]5't my be/ frs1 #bi ,i wd hate !m4 a#ee -----------------------------------#ef #g ,! ,key to ,self-,def5se ,af t1 we _h to g back to class s ! o!r grades cd get _! turn ) ,mr4 ,jack4 ,my t1*]1 ,mr4 ,granite1 />t$ talk+ ab frac;ns & /uff1 b ,i cdn't pay att5;n4 ,i kept ?9k+ ab :at _h happ5$ 9 ! gym4 ,n only did a girl kick my butt1 b -----------------------------------#eg ! girl 0 .1,&rea4 ,& n only did %e kick my butt1 b %e kick$ my butt ) ! .1:ole .1class wat*+4 ,! be/ "d ( my life _h turn$ 9to ! wor/ "d ( my life4 ,sitt+ 9 class1 ,i felt l "eybody 0 look+ at me & :isp]+4 ,i ?"\ ,i 0 gonna die4 ,i want$ to run away to ,ant>ctica & live ) ! p5gu9s4 ,p5gu9s don't attack ea* o!r4 ,p5gu9s >e nice4 ,af ab a million hundr$ m9utes1 an ann\nce;t came ov] ! l\dsp1k]4 ,\r class _h to g d[n to ! gym ag = a#eg ano!r ses.n ) ,mr4 ,jack4 ,i didn't want to g1 b ,i knew t ,i -----------------------------------#eh _h to4 ,if ,i sd ,i didn't feel well or made up "s o!r excuse1 "eybody wd "k x 0 j 2c ,i didn't want ,&rea to kick my butt ag4 ,we walk$ to ! gym 9 s+le file4 ,9 ! middle ( ! gym floor 0 a -----------------------------------#ei ma*9e4 ,x look$ sort ( l a big vacuum cl1n] or "s?+4 8,:at's t1 ,mr4 ,jack80 ask$ ,neil ! nude kid4 8,oh1 y'll see10 ,mr4 ,jack repli$4 8,let's get d[n to busi;s4 ,i want ! :ole class to /& on ! blue l9e40 ,we all w5t ov] to ! blue l9e4 ,i /ood 2t ,ryan & ,mi*ael4 ,mr4 ,jack w5t ov] to ! ma*9e 9 ! middle ( ! gym4 8,i don't h a gd feel+ ab ?10 ,ryan :isp]$ to me4 8,me nei40 8,n[1 ! be/ way to def5d yrf 9 #ca a fit$ mak+ a :irr+ s.d4 8,s let's see h[ gd y >e at gett+ -----------------------------------#fa \ ( ! way10 ,mr4 ,jack sd4 ,he pu%$ a button on ! ma*9e1 & y'll n"e 2lieve 9 a million hundr$ ye>s :at came %oot+ \ ( x4 ,p+-,p;g balls6 ,& !y 7 com+ directly at .1u6 a#fa 8,wat* \60 ,alexia %\t$4 ,p+-,p;g balls 7 fly+ .1"ey":4 ,"eybody 0 yell+ & scr1m+ & fr1k+ \4 8,:y >e y %oot+ ,p+-,p;g balls at u80 %\t$ ,&rea4 8,to see h[ gd y >e at gett+ \ ( ! way60 %\t$ ,mr4 ,jack4 8,/ay on ! blue l9e6 ,try n to get hit60 8,[6 ,he got me60 scr1m$ ,emily af -----------------------------------#fb a ,p+-,p;g ball b\nc$ (f h] h1d4 8,if y get hit1 y're \ ( ! game10 ,mr4 ,jack %\t$4 8,g sit on ! side40 ,emily />t$ cry+1 & %e w5t runn+ \ ( ! gym4 ,:at a crybaby4 ,mr4 ,jack mov$ ! ,p+-,p;g ma*9e back & =? s ! balls spray$ acr ! :ole class4 8,duck6 ,dive6 ,dip6 ,dodge60 he yell$1 ) a crazy look 9 8 eyes4 8,eagles may so>1 b w1sels don't get suck$ 9to jet 5g9es40 .1,:at86 ,mr4 ,jack is a maniac6 ,we 7 all div+ \ ( ! way1 b #cc ,ryan got hit on ! leg4 ,he 0 a#fb \4 ,!n ,mi*ael got hit on ! >m4 ,he 0 \4 -----------------------------------#fc ,alexia got hit 9 ! back4 ,%e 0 \4 ,"o by "o1 kids 7 gett+ nail$ ) ,p+-,p;g balls & go+ (f to sit on ! side ( ! gym4 8,aha-ha-ha60 yell$ ,mr4 ,jack af ,neil ! nude kid got hit 9 ! *e/4 8,ano!r "o bites ! du/60 ,i 0 div+ left & "r & jump+ up & d[n l crazy4 ,"! 0 only "o o!r kid left on ! blue l9e4 .1,&rea4 ,mr4 ,jack /opp$ = a m9ute to reload ! ,p+-,p;g ball ma*9e4 ,i 0 br1?+ r1lly h>d4 8,b1t hm ag1 ,&rea60 %\t$ "o ( ! girls4 -------------------------------#fd-#fe 8,y c d x1 ,a4,j460 %\t$ "o ( ! boys4 8,only two kids left10 ,mr4 ,jack sd excit$ly4 8,:o w 2 ! la/ "o /&+80 8,i'd j l to say t ,i don't a#fe approve ( ? viol;e10 ,&rea sd4 8,x's 9appropriate = *n40 8,:at d y h ag/ viol9s80 ,i ask$4 ,mr4 ,jack pu%$ ! button ag1 & ,p+-,p;g balls />t$ fly+ at ,&rea & me1 fa/] ?an "e4 ,i dove to my left4 ,i dove to my "r4 ,i jump$ up 9 ! air4 ,!n ,i he>d a .1pop z a ,p+-,p;g ball hit ,&rea on h] %\ld]4 8,\*60 %e yell$4 8,t .1hurt60 -----------------------------------#ff ,"eybody />t$ *e]+4 ,mr4 ,jack turn$ (f ! ma*9e4 8,y >e ,! ,man1 ,a4,j460 ,ryan %\t$4 ,"eybody 9 ! class came ov] & told me h[ awe"s ,i was4 ,&rea gave me a hug & sd1 8,y're my h]o1 ,>lo60 ,mr4 ,jack gave me a c]tificate t sd ,i 0 a ,f/-,class ,p+-,p;g ,ball ,avoid]4 ,x 0 ! grte/ "d ( my life4 #ce #h #fg ,9timida;n ,mr4 ,jack roll$ ! ,p+-,p;g ball ma*9e ov] to ! corn] ( ! gym4 ,he told u to sit on ! floor4 8,okay10 he sd1 8! next ?+ y kids ne$ to le>n is .19timida;n4 ,t's a pretty big ^w,-five syllables4 ,does anybody "k :at x m1ns80 -----------------------------------#fh 8,a syllable is a "p ( a ^w10 ,i sd4 8,no1 dumbh1d60 ,mi*ael sd4 8,he wants to "k :at ,89timida;n,0 m1ns40 8,i knew t10 ,i li$4 ,&rea wav$ h] h& 9 ! air l %e 0 try+ to flag d[n a helicopt]4 ,:at a br[nnos]4 ,s ( c\rse ,mr4 ,jack call$ on h]4 8,:5 y 9timidate "sbody1 y sc>e !m10 ,&rea sd1 look+ all pr\d ( h]f4 8,t's "r10 ,mr4 ,jack said4"9 ,well1 sure x 0 "r4 ,&rea got "o ( ^? electronic book ?+s = h] "333333 a#fh "9,hey1 if 89timidate0 & 8sc>e0 m1n ! same ?+1 :y d we ne$ two ^ws8 -----------------------------------#fi bir?"d1 s n[ %e c look up ^ws all ! "t to %[ "eybody h[ sm>t %e is4 ,:at is h] problem8 ,:y c't a truck full ( electronic books fall on ,&rea's h1d8 8,"! >e _m ways to 9timidate an attack]10 ,mr4 ,jack told u4 8,f/1 y ne$ to "k h[ to scr1m4 ,&rea1 ,i he>d y scr1m e>li]4 ,wd y pl1se demon/rate80 8.1,eeee-yah60 scr1m$ ,&rea4 ,i cov]$ my e>s4 8,v gd10 sd ,mr4 ,jack4 8.1,eeee-yah6 ,x's ev5 m 9timidat+ if lots ( p scr1m z a t1m4 ,let's he> ! re/ ( y40 -----------------------------------#gj 8.1,eeee-yah60 we all scr1m$4 8,t wdn't 9timidate a fly10 ,mr4 ,jack sd4 8,l\d]60 8.1,eeee-yah60 we all %riek$ \r h1ds (f4 #cg 8,m* bett]10 sd ,mr4 ,jack4 a#gj 8,t's t1m"w6 ,next1 y ne$ to make yrf look .1big40 8,h[ c we 2 any bi7] ?an we >e80 ask$ ,alexia4 8,l ?10 ,mr4 ,jack sd4 ,he rais$ 8 h&s 9 ! air & spr1d 8 legs a"p4 ,he actually look$ bi7]6 8.1,eeee-yah60 scr1m$ ,mr4 ,jack4 8,i'm 9timidat$10 sd ,emily1 :o is 9timidat$ by "ey?+4 -----------------------------------#ga 8,if an attack] ?9ks y're t\<1 he'll ?9k twice ab bo!r+ y10 ,mr4 ,jack sd4 8,take (f yr jacket & wave x >.d 9 ! air4 ,y ne$ to 2 z obnoxi\s z possible40 8,t %d 2 easy = y1 .1,>lo10 sd ,&rea4 8,y c 2 obnoxi\s )\t ev5 try+40 8,yr .1face is obnoxi\s10 ,i told ,&rea4 8,oh1 snap60 sd ,ryan4 8,if y're .1r1lly obnoxi\s10 ,mr4 ,jack told u1 8an attack] w ?9k y're crazy & l1ve y al"o4 ,wat* 4440 ,mr4 ,jack />t$ scr1m+ a#ga 8.1,eeee-yah60 & /omp+ >.d & wav+ 8 jacket & :i/l+4 -------------------------------#gb-#gc ,& y'll n"e 2lieve :o walk$ 9to ! door at t mo;t4 ,nobody6 ,x wd hurt if y walk$ 9to a door4 ,b y'll n"e 2lieve :o walk$ 9 ! door.1way4 ,x 0 ,mr4 ,klutz6 ,he wat*$ ,mr4 ,jack scr1m+ 8.1,eeee-yah60 & /omp+ >.d & wav+ 8 jacket & :i/l+4 ,!n ,mr4 ,klutz %ook 8 h1d1 ru2$ 8 =eh1d ) 8 f+]s1 & left4 8,see80 ,mr4 ,jack sd4 8,mr4 ,klutz ?9ks ,i'm crazy1 s he left me al"o4 ,t's :at ,i call 9timida;n60 ,mr4 ,jack is weird4 -----------------------------------#gd #i ,don't ,try ,? at ,home ,af we le>n$ h[ to 2 9timidat+1 x 0 "t = lun* & recess4 ,!n we w5t back #ci to \r regul> class4 a#gd 8,let's pick up ": we />t$ ? morn+10 ,mr4 ,granite told u4 8,turn to page tw5ty-?ree 9 yr,-0 ,he didn't get ! *.e to f9i% 8 -----------------------------------#ge s5t;e4 ,at t mo;t1 ,mr4 ,jack sudd5ly ran 9to \r classroom at full spe$4 8.1,eeee-yah60 he scr1m$ z he l1p$ up on ,mr4 ,granite's desk4 ,"eybody fr1k$ \4 8,mr4 ,jack60 sd ,mr4 ,granite4 8,to :at d we [e ! pl1sure ( yr company80 ,t's gr[n-up talk = 8,:at >e .1y do+ "h80 8,y n"e "k :5 y mit$ wav+ x >.d4 8,:at wd y d if ,i attack$ y "r .1n[80 he %\t$4 8,) a glue /ick80 ask$ ,ryan4"9 8,>e y go+ to glue u to d1?80 ask$ ,neil ! nude kid4 8.1,any?+ c 2 a w1pon60 %\t$ ,mr4 ,jack z he l1p$ (f ,mr4 ,granite's desk & %ov$ ! glue /ick 9 ,neil's "333333 "9,wat* ?3 www4y\tube4com_/" wat*8v"7pi,,wcbo,'s,jr-w -----------------------------------#gh face4 8,"s"o cd attack y ) cotton balls4 ,"s"o cd attack y ) ;,q-tips6 ,alw expect ! unexpect$60 ,at t mo;t1 "s?+ ev5 .1m unexpect$ happ5$4 ,\r s*ool lun* lady1 ,ms4 ,la,grange1 came 9to ! classroom4 ,%e's f ,fr.e4 ,ms4 ,la,grange 0 :eel+ a c>t ) a big block ( ice on x4 8.1,bonj\r60 sd ,ms4 #da ,la,grange4 8,did "sbody ask = a#gh a big block ( ice80 8,yes1 l1ve x "r "!10 ,mr4 ,jack told h]4 8,:at's ! big block ( ice =80 ask$ ,alexia4 8,to def5d yrf1 y ne$ to 2 -----------------------------------#gi t\<10 ,mr4 ,jack sd4 8,& to %[ y h[ t\< ,i am1 ,i w n[ br1k ? block ( ice 9 half 444 ) my h1d40 .1,,:at86 ,mr4 ,jack /ood 9 front ( ! big block ( ice4 8,:y wd y want to d .1t1 ,mr4 ,jack80 ask$ ,alexia4 8,y1h10 ,i sd4 8,:at did t big block ( ice "e d to .1y80 ,b ,mr4 ,jack wasn't li/5+4 ,he 0 3c5trat+ on ! big block ( ice4 8,kids1 don't try ? at home10 he told u4 8,i'm a pr(es.nal4 ,i j hope ,i don't mess up my hair40 ,mr4 ,jack took a few deep br1?s4 ,!n he clos$ 8 eyes4 #hj 8,don't d x60 ,&rea %\t$4 8,y'll get hurt60 8,yes1 don't d x1 ,mr4 ,jack60 %\t$ ,emily4 8,d y all want me to d x80 ask$ ,mr4 ,jack4 -----------------------------------#ha 8,no60 %\t$ all ! girls4 8,yes60 %\t$ all ! boys4 ,br1k+ /uff is cool4 ,especially :5 y br1k /uff ) yr h1d4 ,x 0 excit+4 ,"! 0 electric;y 9 ! air4 ,well1 n r1lly4 ,if "! _h be5 electric;y 9 ! air1 we all wd h be5 electrocut$4 ,b we 7 all glu$ to \r s1ts4 ,well1 n exactly4 ,x wd 2 weird to 2 glu$ to a s1t4 ,:y wd anybody d a dumb ?+ l t8 ,h[ wd y get ! glue (f8 8,okay1 ,i'm go+ to d x10 ,mr4 ,jack sd4 8,"o 444 two 4440 -----------------------------------#hb ,b ,mr4 ,jack didn't get ! *.e #dc to br1k ! big block ( ice ) 8 a#hb h1d4 ,2c ! mo/ amaz+ ?+ 9 ! hi/ory ( ! _w happ5$4 ,we got call$ d[n to ! gym4 ,well1 t's n ! amaz+ "p1 2c we get call$ d[n to ! gym all ! "t4 ,! amaz+ "p 0 :at happ5$ :5 we 7 9 ! gym4 ,b ,i'm n go+ to tell y :at x was4 ,okay1 okay1 ,i'll tell y4 ,b y h to r1d ! next *apt]4 ,s nah-nah-nah boo-boo on y4 -----------------------------------#hc #aj ,! ,em]g5cy ,we _h to walk a million hundr$ miles ) ,mr4 ,jack4 ,i didn't h to 2 ! l9e l1d] or ! door hold] 2c ,mr4 ,klutz _h alr "nd me door clos] ( ! "d4 ,! :ole s*ool 0 9 ! gym4 ,mr4 ,granite made u sit boy-girl-boy-girl4 ,s ,i -----------------------------------#hd _h to sit 2t annoy+ ,&rea & crybaby ,emily4 ,u<1 4gu/+6 a#hd ,mr4 ,jack w5t up to ! front ( ! gym1 ": ,mr4 ,klutz1 ,dr4 ,brad1 & \r vice pr9cipal1 ,mrs4 ,jafee1 7 /&+4 ,!y all held up _! h&s & made %ut-up p1ce signs4 ,we all /opp$ talk+4 8,mr4 ,jack told me y kids did a grt job td10 ,mr4 ,klutz ann\nc$4 8,s ea* ( y w rcv ? self-def5se c]tificate4 ,rememb]1 ! skills y le>n$ >e .1only to 2 us$ 9 case ( an em]g5cy40 8,zat's "r10 sd ,dr4 ,brad4 8,vee try to avoid fi walk$ 9to ! gym6 ,"eybody />t$ lau<+1 2c we figur$ ! be> 0 j a c\ple ( t1*]s we>+ a be> suit4 -----------------------------------#hf 8,v funny10 sd ,mrs4 ,jafee4 8,okay1 : ( ! t1*]s dress$ up l a be>80 ,t's :5 ! be> got up on xs h9d #de legs4 a#hf 8,rooooaaa>rrr60 ro>$ ! be>4 ,x wasn't "s t1*]s we>+ a be> suit4 ,x 0 a .1r1l be>6 ,! ?+ m/ h be5 t5 feet tall1 & x _h razor-%>p claws & kill] jaws6 8.1,ahhhhhhhhhhhh60 "eybody scr1m$4 ,i ?"\ ,i 0 gonna die4 ,we .1all ?"\ we 7 gonna die4 ,&rea & ,emily & ,i 7 all hold+ on to ea* o!r4 ,"! 0 no place to g4 ,! be> 0 9 front ( ! door4 -------------------------------#hg-#hh 8,"sbody call n9e-"o-"o60 a t1*] %\t$4 8,run = yr lives60 yell$ ,neil ! nude kid4 8,no60 %\t$ ,dr4 ,brad4 8,"eyvun rema9 calm6 ,if vee l1ve x al"o1 zuh be> von't bo!r u6 ,don't make any sudd5 moves60 ,"eybody /opp$ mov+4 ,"eybody /opp$ talk+4 ,we all />$ at ! be>4 ,! be> />$ back at u4 ,y cd h he>d a p9 drop4 ,actually1 ,i wi% ,i'd _h a p94 ,i cd h us$ x ag/ ! be>4 a#hh 8,hey10 ,mrs4 ,jafee sd4 8,! be> walk$ "r "? ! door4 ,:o 0 door -----------------------------------#hi clos] = ! "d80 ,"eybody look$ at me4 ,i tri$ to make myf z small z possible4 8,let's n play zuh blame game10 sd ,dr4 ,brad4 8,let me h&le zis4 ,at ,ella ,m5try ,s*ool1 vee alvays try to talk z+s \4 ,i vill try to r1son vis zuh be>40 ,dr4 ,brad w5t ov] to ! be>4 8,n[1 let's 2 r1sonable1 be>10 he sd4 8,zees is \r s*ool4 ,y live 9 zuh voods4 ,s zuh logical z+ v\ld 2 = y to g back to zuh voods & u to,-0 ,b ,dr4 ,brad didn't get ! *.e to f9i% 8 s5t;e1 2c ! be> sudd5ly pick$ hm up & ?rew hm acr ! gym6 -----------------------------------#ij ,w[1 t 0 ! second "t 9 a "d t "sbody _h pick$ up ,dr4 ,brad & ?r[n hm4 ,t _h to 2 a record4 ,x 0 amaz+6 ,y %d h be5 "!4 #dg ,we got to see x live & 9 a#ij p]son4 8,oo(60 sd ,dr4 ,brad :5 he l&$ on "s foam pads ne> ! bl1*]s4 ,he seem$ to 2 okay4 -----------------------------------#ia ,! be> 0 look+ >.d1 l he 0 try+ to decide :o to mess ) next4 8,:at >e we go+ to d .1n[80 "sbody yell$4 8,mr4 ,klutz1 y %d take c>e ( x10 sd ,ryan4 8,y're ! pr9cipal40 8,:at am ,i suppos$ to d80 ask$ ,mr4 ,klutz1 :o look$ z sc>$ z anybody4 8,s5d ! be> to ! pr9cipal's (fice80 8,y cd give ! be> det5;n10 ,i sd4 8,wave a r$ clo? 9 front ( ! be>10 su7e/$ ,alexia4 8,i saw t on ,,tv once40 8,!y d t ) .1bulls1 dumbh1d10 sd ,&rea4 8,n be>s60 ,t's :5 we r1liz$ we _h a r1l -----------------------------------#ib black-belt self-def5se exp]t "r "! 9 front ( u4 8,get hm1 ,mr4 ,jack60 %\t$ a#ib ,mi*ael4 8,? is j ! k9d ( em]g5cy y 7 tell+ u ab40 8,y1h1 y "k k>ate & /uff10 ,i sd4 8,y c br1k a block ( ice ) yr h1d4 ,%[ hm h[ t\< -----------------------------------#ic y >e1 ,mr4 ,jack60 8,y1h60 "eybody yell$4 8,get hm1 ,mr4 ,jack60 8,:o1 me80 ask$ ,mr4 ,jack1 tak+ a /ep backw>d4 8,i don't "k h[ to 444 ,i 444 uh 444 x's a .1be>60 ,mr4 ,jack look$ l he 0 go+ to cry4 8,y told u to expect ! unexpect$60 -----------------------------------#id %\t$ ,&rea4 8,well1 ? is unexpect$6 .1,d "s?+60 8,y1h10 sd ,mr4 ,jack1 8b :5 ,i told y to expect ! unexpect$1 ,i wasn't expect+ .1?40 8,too bad ! be> doesn't h a glue /ick10 ,i sd4 8,!n ,mr4 ,jack wd "k :at to d40 8,:y don't y br1k a big block #di ( ice ov] ! .1be>'s h1d80 ,ryan a#id %\t$4 8,i'm afraid ( be>s60 ,mr4 ,jack 0 :imp]+ & so2+4 8,come on1 ,mr4 ,jack60 sd ,mr4 ,klutz4 8,man up6 ,g get hm6 ,y're \r only hope60 8,i c't10 ,mr4 ,jack sd1 blu2]+4 8,! be> w mess up my hair60 -----------------------------------#ie #aa ,t1m"w ,! be> got up on xs h9d legs & let \ ano!r ro>4 ,"eybody 0 froz54 ,well1 "eybody wasn't .1r1lly froz54 ,if "eybody _h be5 froz51 we wd h be5 made \ ( ice cubes4 8,we're all go+ to die60 :isp]$ ,emily4 ,i'm sure %e wd h run \ ( ! gym if ! be> wasn't block+ ! door4 -----------------------------------#if ,t's :5 ,&rea :isp]$ 9 my e>4 8,we've got to .1d "s?+1 ,>lo60 8,we8 ,l .1:at80 ,i :isp]$ a#if back4 8,:at >e we go+ to d8 ,l1ve me \ ( ?40 8,come on60 ,&rea gra2$ my h& & pull$ me up4 ,we w5t runn+ ov] to ! be>4 8,we've got to 9timidate ! be>10 ,&rea told me4 8,h[ >e we gonna d .1t80 8.1,eeee-yah60 %e scr1m$4 ,!n ,&rea jump$ up & k>ate-*opp$ ! be> "r 9 8 /oma*6 -----------------------------------#ig ,well1 ! be> m/ n h expect$ .1t4 ,he turn$ >.d angrily & took a swipe at me ) 8 razor-%>p claws4 ,i dove \ ( ! way4 ,he miss$ me by 9*es6 -----------------------------------#ih 8,we've got to make \rvs look bi7]60 %\t$ ,&rea4 ,%e rais$ h] h&s 9 ! air & spr1d h] legs a"p4 ,!n %e />t$ /omp+ >.d & wav+ h] jacket & :i/l+4 ,! be> look$ at ,&rea = a mo;t4 ,!n x took ano!r swipe at me4 ,i #ea dodg$ \ ( ! way4 a#ih 8,hey60 ,i %\t$4 8,:at >e y attack+ .1me =8 .1,%e's ! "o :o's bo!r+ y60 8,! be> m/ ?9k y're bo? crazy60 %\t$ ,mi*ael4 8,!y .1>e crazy60 sd ,neil ! nude kid4 ,! be> />t$ swip+ 8 claws at -----------------------------------#ii me ov] & ov] ag1 l he 0 swatt+ flies4 ,i dove to my left4 ,i dove to my "r4 ,i jump$ up 9 ! air4 ,i wasn't go+ to let t be> get me4 8,duck6 ,dive6 ,dip6 ,dodge60 "ey"o 0 %\t+ at me4 8.1,eeee-yah60 scr1m$ ,&rea4 ,!n %e gave ! be> ano!r k>ate *op on 8 leg4 ,! be> m/ h be5 gett+ tir$1 2c he sudd5ly sat d[n on ! floor4 8,i ?9k ! be> is 9timidat$60 ,alexia %\t$4 8.1,eeee-yah60 ,!n ! :ole s*ool got up1 rais$ ----------------------------------#ajj _! h&s 9 ! air1 & spr1d _! legs a"p4 ,!n !y />t$ /omp+ >.d & wav+ _! jackets & :i/l+4 a#ajj 8.1,eeee-yah60 "eybody %riek$ _! h1ds (f4 ,! be> :imp]$ once1 & !n he got up & lumb]$ \ ! door4 ,i ran ov] & clos$ x 2h hm4 ,= a mo;t1 "! 0 sil;e4 ,nobody mov$ or sd a ^w4 ,!n "eybody />t$ hoot+ & holl]+ & *e]+ _! h1ds (f4 8,hooray = ,&rea & ,a4,j460 ,ryan %\t$4 8,!y 9timidat$ ! be>60 8,t's t1m"w60 sd ,&rea4 ,sudd5ly1 ,&rea did "s?+ t ----------------------------------#aja 0 ev5 .1m 9timidat+ ?an sc>+ away ! be>4 ,%e gave me a kiss6 ,u<1 4gu/+6 ----------------------------------#ajb #ab ,! ,f/ ,rule ( ,2+ a ,kid ,"r af ! be> ran \ ( ! gym1 ! ?ree-o'clock bell rang4 ,yippee6 #ec ,"t to g home6 ,we all ru%$ a#ajb back to \r classrooms to get \r backpacks4 ,usually ,i take ! bus home1 b ,i _h a d5ti/ appo9t;t1 s my mom came to pick me up4 ----------------------------------#ajc 8,:at did y le>n 9 s*ool td1 ,a4,j480 %e ask$ :5 ,i got 9 ! c>4 8,no?+10 ,i sd4 ,:5"e yr mom asks y :at y le>n$ at s*ool td1 alw say 8,no?+40 ,t's ! f/ rule ( 2+ a kid4 8,oh1 come on1 ,a4,j410 my mom sd4 8,y m/ h le>n$ .1"s?+ at s*ool td40 8,we le>n$ h[ to fis10 ,i told h]4 8,v funny4 ,:at did y le>n 9 ma? class80 8,we didn't h ma? class40 8,:at did y le>n 9 sci;e class80 ----------------------------------#ajd 8,we didn't h sci;e class40 8,:at did y le>n 9 social /udies class80 8,we didn't h social /udies a#ajd class40 8,well1 if y didn't h ma?1 sci;e1 or social /udies class10 my mom ask$1 8:at class .1did y h80 ----------------------------------#aje 8,be>-fin$ 9 s*ool4 ,well1 t's pretty m* :at happ5$4 ,maybe ,mr4 ,jack w man up & /op comb+ 8 hair 9 sl[ mo;n4 ,maybe ,i'll get to ?r[ a wat]melon (f a t5-/ory build+4 ,maybe "sbody else w pick up ,dr4 ,brad & ?r[ hm "s":4 ,maybe ,mr4 ,jack w br1k a block ( ice 9 half ) 8 h1d4 ,maybe ,dr4 ,brad w /op try+ to r1son ) be>s4 ,maybe ,&rea w take a class to le>n h[ to clip h] toenails bett]4 ----------------------------------#ajf ,maybe ,mr4 ,jack w /op %oot+ ,p+-,p;g balls at kids & attack+ !m ) glue /icks4 ,maybe ,mr4 ,klutz w put #ee ! be> 9 det5;n4 ,maybe !y'll a#ajf 9v5t a cr1m s gr[n-ups won't h it*y =eh1ds anymore4 ,maybe ,mr4 ,jack w /op kill+ c[s & we>+ !m4 ,maybe !y'll figure \ h[ to put ,,tv,'s 9side \r eyelids4 ,b x won't 2 easy6 @.<,! ,5d@.>