,my ,weird] ,s*ool _?#ab ,mrs4 ,lane ,is a ,pa96 ,dan ,gutman ,9 #a ,volume ,brl ,pages t#a-t#b1 p#a & #a-#eg ,pr9t ,pages #a-#ajf ,sponsor$ & ,pres5t$ by3 ,am]ican ,ac;n ,fund = ,bl ,*n & ,adults #ahjj ,johnson ,/reet ,baltimore1 ,m>yl& #babcj www4ac;nfund4org ,produc$ at ,na;nal ,brl ,press www4nbp4org t#a ,text copy"r ^c #bjad by ,dan ,gutman ,publi%$ by ,h>p],coll9s ,*n's ,books1 a divi.n ( ,h>p],coll9s ,publi%]s1 #aie ,broadway1 ,new ,york1 ,,ny #ajjjg4 ,,isbn #igh-#j-#jf-#baihdg-#a www4h>p]coll9s*ildr5s4com ,to ,miriam ,*e/] ,3t5ts #a4 ,! ,coole/ ,sport ,"e """"""""" #a #b4 ,! ,secret ,gr& ,prize """"""" #aj #c4 ,! ,tal5t$ ,mrs4 ,lane """"""" #af #d4 ,no ,talk+1 ,pl1se """"""""""" #be #e4 ,next6 """"""""""""""""""""""" #ca #f4 ,fanta/ic ,news6 """"""""""""" #df #g4 ,:o ,ne$s ,,tv8 """""""""""""" #ec #h4 ,! ,_w >.d ,me """"""""""""""" #fd #i4 ,! ,big ,nie p :o help ! knis clo!s1 0 ! judge4 ,he put a l9e ( orange c"os on ! grass s ,alexia & ,i wdn't cra% 9to ea* o!r4 ,i put on my bike helmet4 ,alexia put on h] helmet4 #a 8,h& me my wat] balloon1 a#b squire10 ,i told ,mi*ael4 8,yes1 my liege40"9 "333333 "9 ,i don't "k :at a liege is1 b t's :at squires >e suppos$ to say :5"e knie ! knik 44410 yell$ ,neil4 8,get set6 ,j\/60 .7,kids1 pl1se don't try ? at home4 ,we're pr(es.nals4.' ,alexia & ,i />t$ p$al+ t[>d ea* o!r4 ,x's n easy to p$al a bike on ! grass :ile y're hold+ a wat] balloon 9 "o h&4 ,we 7 gett+ clos] to ea* o!r4 ,i held up my wat] balloon1 r1dy to let x fly4 a#c ------------------------------------#d ,alexia & ,i 7 tw5ty feet away f ea* o!r4 8,nail hm1 ,alexia60 %\t$ ,ryan4 8,y c d x1 ,a4,j460 %\t$ ,mi*ael4 ,alexia & ,i 7 t5 feet away f ea* o!r4 ,x's r1lly h>d to hit "sbody ) a wat] balloon f a mov+ bike4 ,y h to ?r[ x at ! exact p]fect mo;t4 ,alexia & ,i 7 five feet away f ea* o!r4 ,x 0 "t4 8,,eeeee-,,yah60 ,i holl]$4 ,j z ,i 0 ab to let g ( my wat] balloon1 ,alexia h1v$ h] balloon4 ,x explod$ all ov] me4 ,i 0 .1soak$4 ,my ------------------------------------#e wat] balloon sail$ wide1 miss+ ,alexia 5tirely4 8,bam60 ,alexia holl]$ z %e rode by4 8,in yr face1 ,a4,j460 8,alexia is ! w9n]60 %\t$ ,neil4 ,af t we swit*$ places s ,mi*ael & ,ryan wd 2 ! kniby4 ,well1 t's n ! amaz+ "p1 2c p hide 2h bu%es all ! "t4 ,! amaz+ "p 0 .1:o 0 hid+ 2h ! bu%es4 ,i figur$ ! p]son wat*+ u 0 ,&rea ,"y1 ? annoy+ girl 9 my class ) curly br[n hair4 ,b x wasn't ,&rea4 ,y'll n"e 2lieve 9 a million hundr$ ye>s :o 0 spy+ on u4 ------------------------------------#g ,x 0 ,mr4 ,klutz1 \r s*ool pr9cipal6 ,he has no hair at all4 ,i m1n .1n"o4 ,he m/ save a lot ( m"oy on %ampoo & combs4 ,i wond] if he uses a hair dry] to dry 8 h1d4 8,uh-oh60 ,i sd4 8,x's ,mr4 a#g ,klutz60 ------------------------------------#h 8,we're 9 tr\ble n[10 sd ,ryan4 ,mr4 ,klutz came ov] to u4 ,x 0 too late to run away4 ,i didn't "k :at to say4 ,i didn't "k :at to d4 ,i _h to ?9k fa/4 8,we're sorry ,mr4 ,klutz10 ,i sd4 8,we won't d x ag40 8,pl1se don't tell \r p>5ts we 7 j\/+ ) wat] balloons10 be7$ ,neil ! nude kid4 8,don't 2 silly60 sd ,mr4 ,klutz ) a big smile on 8 face4 8,i r1lly 5joy$ wat*+ y4 ,9 fact1 y kids h giv5 me a grt idea40 8,we h80 sd ,alexia4 8,:at's ! grt idea80 ask$ ,mi*ael4 8,i'm n go+ to tell y10 sd ,mr4 ,klutz4 ------------------------------------#i 8,pl1se8 ,pl1se8 ,pl1se8 ,pl1se80 we all be7$4 ,usually1 if y say 8pl1se0 ov] #e & ov] ag1 gr[n-ups w get sick ( a#i he>+ x & give y :at y want4 ,t's ! f/ rule ( 2+ a kid4 8,okay1 okay1 ,i'll tell y my grt idea10 sd ,mr4 ,klutz4 8,yay60 8,i'll tell y my grt idea 444 at ! assembly tm40 8,boo60 -----------------------------------#aj #b ,! ,secret ,gr& ,prize ,! next morn+ \r class _h to walk a million hundr$ miles to ! all-purpose room = ! assembly4 ,&rea 0 ! l9e l1d]4 ,h] crybaby fr ,emily 0 ! door hold]4 ,i don't "k :y !y call x an assembly 2c we don't put any?+ tgr4 -----------------------------------#aa ,if y ask me1 !y %d make assemblies & toys ! same way3 no assembly requir$4 ,i sat next to ,ryan & ,mi*ael4 ,"eybody 0 ga2+1 l alw4 ,ev5 ! t1*]s4 ,:5 ,mr4 ,klutz climb$ up a#aa on/age1 he made a p1ce sign ) 8 f+]s1 : m1ns 8%ut up40 8,gd morn+10 ,mr4 ,klutz sd4 8,i 0 wat*+ "s ( \r /ud5ts play+ on ! field af s*ool ye/]"d1 & x gave me a grt idea40 -----------------------------------#ab 8,maybe he's go+ to give u an aw>d or "s?+10 ,i :isp]$ to ,ryan4 8,t wd 2 cool10 he repli$4 8,i r1liz$ h[ tal5t$ y /ud5ts >e "h at ,ella ,m5try ,s*ool10 sd ,mr4 ,klutz1 8s ,i've decid$ t we're go+ to h a tal5t %[6 ,we're go+ to call x .7,ella ,m5try ,s*ool's ,got ,tal5t.'60 .1,,:at86 8,yay60 sd all ! girls4 8,boo60 sd all ! boys4 8,tal5t %[s >e = girls60 ,i %\t$4 8,y1h10 agre$ all ! boys4 8,i'm n go+ to 2 9 "s dumb tal5t %[10 sd ,ryan4 8,me nei10 sd ,mi*ael4 #g 8,oh1 ,i %d m5;n "o ?+10 sd #ac ,mr4 ,klutz4 8,! w9n] ( ! tal5t %[ w get a secret gr& prize4 ,s if n"o ( ! boys w 2 "picipat+1 ,i guess a girl w w9 ! secret gr& prize40 ,secret gr& prize8 ,i .1love secret gr& prizes6 8,": d ,i sign up80 ,i %\t$4 8,y c sign up "r "h 9 ! all-purpose room af s*ool td10 sd ,mr4 ,klutz4 8,b "r n[ ,i want to 9troduce ! woman :o is go+ to 2 9 *>ge ( \r tal5t %[4 ,%e's a r1l pr(es.nal tal5t coa*1 & h] "n is 444 ,mrs4 ,p5ny ,lane60 ,at t mo;t1 ! weirde/ ?+ 9 -----------------------------------#ad ! hi/ory ( ! _w happ5$4 ,a lady came \ on ! /age4 ,well1 t's n ! weird "p1 2c ladies come \ on ! /age all ! "t4 ,! weird "p 0 t %e came \ on ! /age rid+ a .1unicycle4 ,n only 0 %e rid+ a unicycle1 b at ! same "t %e 0 ju7l+ ?ree goldfi% b[ls1 ) r1l live goldfi% 9 !m6 ,& n only 0 %e rid+ a unicycle & ju7l+ ?ree goldfi% b[ls1 b %e 0 a#ad al :i/l+ 8,old ,mac,donald ,_h a ,f>m40 8,,w[60 "eybody sd1 : is 8,,mom0 upside d[n4 ,x 0 totally amaz+6 ,mrs4 ,lane is .1r1lly tal5t$6 -------------------------------#ae-#af #c ,! ,tal5t$ ,mrs4 ,lane ,mr4 ,klutz told u to give ,mrs4 ,lane a r.d ( applause1 s we all clapp$ \r h&s 9 circles4 8,h[dy1 y'all60 sd ,mrs4 ,lane z %e took a deep b[4 ,%e m/ 2 f ,texas4 ,p 9 ,texas say 8y'all0 all ! "t4 ,nobody "ks :y4 -----------------------------------#ag 8,mrs4 ,lane is ! p]fect p]son to run \r tal5t %[10 ,mr4 ,klutz told u4 8,z y c see1 %e's v tal5t$ h]f4 ,9 fact1 y may h se5 h] on ,,tv40 ,"eybody got all excit$1 2c #i anybody :o's on ,,tv m/ 2 r1lly a#ag fam\s4 ,mr4 ,klutz ask$ ,mrs4 ,lane to tell u "s ( ! ,,tv %[s %e'd be5 on4 8,well10 %e sd1 8,i 0 a 3te/ant on .7,am]ica's ,n ,/upid1 ,>e ,y ,sm>t] ,?an a ,turnip81 ,am]ica's ,next ,top ,g>bage ,collector1 ,keep+ ,up ) ! ,libr>ians1 ,:o ,wants to ,w9 a ,million ,pizzas1 ,pancake ,w>s1 ,:eel ( ,mis=tune.'1 & .1,"ucov] .1,"m40 8,,w[10 "eybody sd ag4 -----------------------------------#ah 8,mrs4 ,lane is a r1l celebr;y60 sd ,&rea4 8,%e's .1fam\s40 ,mr4 ,klutz ask$ ,mrs4 ,lane if %e _h any .1o!r tal5ts4 ,%e got (f ! unicycle & did a h&/& :ile s++ 8,i've ,be5 ,"w+ on ! ,railroad40 8,,w[10 "eybody sd ag4 ,we gave h] ano!r r.d ( applause4 ,mrs4 ,lane 0 all \ ( br1?4 8,t 0 .1amaz+60 sd ,mr4 ,klutz4 8,y >e .1multi.'tal5t$1 ,mrs4 ,lane40 ,multital5t$ m1ns 8_m tal5ts40 ,i knew t 2c e morn+ my mom gives me a multivitam94 ,x has t5 di6]5t a#ah vitam9s 9 x4 ,h[ d !y jam all ^? vitam9s 9to "o pill8 ,nobody "ks4 -----------------------------------#ai 8,i'm s excit$ to 2 9 *>ge ( .7,ella ,m5try ,s*ool's ,got ,tal5t.'10 sd ,mrs4 ,lane4 8,? is go+ to 2 s m* fun6 ,yr bro!rs & si/]s w 2 "!4 ,yr p>5ts w 2 "!4 ,y mimpit -----------------------------------#bj f>ts c.t z a tal5t80 he ask$4 8,:at's an >mpit f>t80 ask$ ,mrs4 ,lane4 ,all ! boys />t$ mak+ >mpit f>ts4 ,) hundr$s ( u do+ x at ! same "t1 x s.d$ l an or*e/ra4 ,except ) >mpits 9/1d ( musical -----------------------------------#ba 9/ru;ts4"9 8,yes1 ,i .1suppose t wd qualify z a tal5t10 sd ,mrs4 ,lane4 #aa 8,h[ ab regul> f>ts80 ,i a#ba ask$4 8,no10 sd ,mr4 ,klutz firmly4 8,regul> f>ts d .1n qualify z a tal5t40 8,t's n fair60 "sbody %\t$4 8,y1h1 if >mpit f>ts >e a tal5t1 !n .1r1l f>ts %d 2 a tal5t1 too10 sd ,neil ! nude kid4 8,t's 4crim9a;n ag/ c]ta9 k9ds ( f>ts60 sd ,alexia4 8,& we 7 taumpit f>t]s4 -----------------------------------#bb ,"eybody />t$ talk+ ab f>t+ & 4crim9a;n until ,mr4 ,klutz made ! %ut-up p1ce sign ag4 8,>e "! any "qs t don't 3c]n f>t+80 he ask$4 ,emily rais$ h] h&4 8,:at if "sbody doesn't .1h a tal5t80 %e ask$4 8,does t m1n a#bb !y c't 2 9 ! tal5t %[80 ,mrs4 ,lane came d[n (f ! /age & w5t ov] to ,emily4 8.1,"eybody has tal5t1 sweetie10 %e sd4 8,i'm sure y'all c d "s?+ t mo/ o!r p c't d4 ,= 9/.e1 maybe y'all c play ! spoons40 ,mrs4 ,lane pull$ two spoons \ ( h] pocket & />t$ hitt+ !m ag/ -----------------------------------#bc h] legs 9 rhy?m4 ,x 0 cool4 8,i c't d t10 sd ,emily4 8,well1 maybe y'all c yodel10 sd ,mrs4 ,lane4 ,mrs4 ,lane />t$ yodel+4 ,x 0 cool4 8,i c't d t ei10 sd ,emily4 8,or maybe y'all c turn yr eyelids 9side \10 ,mrs4 ,lane sd4 ,& !n %e turn$ h] eyelids 9side \4 ,ewww1 gross6 ,i ?"\ ,i 0 gonna ?r[ up4 8,i c't d t ei10 sd ,emily4 8,i bet y'all >e tal5t$ at .1"s?+10 ,mrs4 ,lane told ,emily4 8,y'all #ac j h to f9d \ :at x is40"9 a#bc ,) t %e pick$ a hula hoop up "333333 "9 ,boy1 %e sure says 8y'all0 a lot4 -----------------------------------#bd f ! /age & />t$ hula hoop+ :ile recit+ ! ,gettysburg ,address 9 a ,donald ,duck voice4 ,mrs4 ,lane is weird4 -----------------------------------#be #d ,no ,talk+1 ,pl1se ,we walk$ a million hundr$ miles back to \r classroom ) \r t1*]1 ,mr4 ,granite4 ,neil 0 ! l9e l1d]4 ,mi*ael 0 ! door hold]4 8,? is s excit+60 sd ,&rea4 8,i c't wait to 2 9 .7,ella ,m5try ,s*ool's ,got ,tal5t.'40 -----------------------------------#bf 8,maybe ,i'll d "s magic tricks10 sd ,mi*ael4 8,i got a magic kit = ,*ri/mas40 8,i'm go+ to d "s tricks on a#bf my skatebo>d10 sd ,alexia4 8,t's a tal5t40 8,no talk+1 pl1se10 sd ,mr4 ,granite4 8,i cd play ! viol910 sd ,neil ! nude kid4 8,i cd eat "s?+ t isn't food10 sd ,ryan4 8,eat+ isn't a tal5t10 sd ,&rea4 8,t dep5ds on :at y eat10 sd ,ryan4 8,if >mpit f>ts c 2 a tal5t10 sd ,mi*ael1 8!n eat+ c 2 a tal5t1 too40 8,no talk+1 pl1se10 sd ,mr4 ,granite4 8,:at >e .1y go+ to d 9 ! tal5t -----------------------------------#bg %[1 ,a4,j480 ,neil ask$ me4 ,i r1lly didn't "k4 ,i cdn't s+ or d.e or d magic tricks4 ,b t's :5 ,i came up ) ! grte/ idea 9 ! hi/ory ( ! _w4 8,i cd tell jokes60 ,i sd4 8,oh1 y1h80 sd ,&rea4 8,let's he> "o40 #ae 8,:at's ! di6];e 2t snot & a#bg bro3oli80 ,i ask$4 8,:at80 "eybody sd4 8,kids w eat snot40 8,t's 4gu/+1 ,>lo1 & x's n funny10 sd ,&rea4 8,x's n ev5 a joke4 ,x's a riddle40 8,no talk+1 pl1se10 sd ,mr4 ,granite4 -----------------------------------#bh ,:at is ,&rea's problem8 ,if 2+ annoy+ is a tal5t1 %e's ! mo/ tal5t$ kid 9 ! _w4 ,:y c't a truck;l ( bro3oli fall on h] h1d8 8,i don't "k :at ,i c d 9 ! tal5t %[10 sd ,emily4 8,i don't h a tal5t40 ,i felt a ll sorry = ,emily4 ,x's sad to h no tal5t at all4 ,b %e .1is annoy+1 s ,i didn't feel .1t sorry = h]4 8,i "k :at .1,i'm go+ to d 9 ! tal5t %[10 sd ,&rea4 8,i'm go+ to s+ a -----------------------------------#bi m$ley ( s;gs f ! musical .1,annie40 ,oh no1 n .1ag6 ,&rea loves t %[ .1,annie1 & a#bi %e n"e misses ! *.e to s+ s;gs f x4 ,%e s+s s;gs f .1,annie e "d4 ,if ,i h to li/5 to 8,tm0 "o m "t1 ,i ?9k ,i'll g crazy4 8,c ,i s+ ) y 9 ! tal5t %[1 ,&rea80 ask$ ,emily4 8,i pref] to s+ solo10 ,&rea repli$4 8,:y don't y s+ s l[ t we -----------------------------------#cj c't he> y80 ,i told ,&rea4 8,oh1 snap60 sd ,ryan4 8,no talk+1 pl1se10 sd ,mr4 ,granite4 ,i don't get x4 ,= ! f/ few ye>s ( yr life1 all gr[n-ups d is t1* y h[ to talk4 ,& !n1 = ! re/ ( yr life1 all !y d is tell y to /op talk+4 ,:at's up ) t8 -----------------------------------#ca #e ,next6 ,! la/ ?+ ,i want to d af s*ool #ag is to /ay af s*ool4 ,b ? "d 0 a#ca di6]5t4 ,z soon z ! ?ree-o'clock bell rang1 ! gang & me ru%$ to ! all-purpose room to try \ = .7,ella ,m5try ,s*ool's ,got ,tal5t.'4 ,i don't "k :y !y call x ! -----------------------------------#cb all-purpose room4 ,x c't 2 us$ = .1all purposes4 ,i m1n1 y c't g skydiv+ 9 "!4 ,anyway1 lots ( kids 9 all ! grades f f/ "? fif? %[$ up to try \4 ,we _h to wait 9 l9e 2h a bun* ( f/-grade ,mun*k9s s we cd write \r "ns on ! sign-up %eet4 8,i see we h a lot ( tal5t$ /ud5ts at ,ella ,m5try ,s*ool10 sd ,mrs4 ,lane4 8,i c't wait to see y'all %[ yr tal5t60 ,mr4 ,klutz 0 "! too4 ,i guess he want$ to make sure nobody tri$ to d an act t 9volv$ f>t+4 8,c y tell u :at ! secret gr& -----------------------------------#cc prize w be80 ask$ ,&rea1 :o loves to w9 prizes4 a#cc 8,if ,i told y1 x wdn't 2 a secret10 ,mrs4 ,lane repli$4 ,%e took ! sign-up %eet & sat 9 ! front r[4 ,ea* ( u _h "o m9ute to d \r act4 8,okay10 ,mrs4 ,lane sd to ! f/ kid on ! li/4 8,%[ me :at y've got40 ,x 0 a second-grade girl ) r$ hair4 ,%e sd %e 0 d\ble jo9t$4 ,!n %e got d[n on ! floor & wrapp$ -----------------------------------#cd bo? ( h] legs >.d h] neck at ! same "t4 .1,t's a tal5t8 ,:o knew8 8,next60 %\t$ ,mrs4 ,lane4 ,two f\r?-grade boys climb$ up on/age & act$ \ a sc5e f .1,/> .1,w>s4 ,x 5d$ ) !m fi t h ! lr ;,z 9 !m10 %e sd4 8,n"o ( ! mon?s ( ! ye> h a #ai ;,z 9 !m10 ,mrs4 ,lane told ! a#cd girl4 8,"!6 ,i did x60 8,next60 -----------------------------------#ce 8,i c write my "n 9 ! air ) my butt10 sd ? f/-grade boy4 8,next60 ,af t "s fif? grad]s did a skit ab f\r bananas t g \ = a walk & >e sudd5ly attack$ by meteors4 ,x made no s5se at all4 ,!y 7 foll[$ by a bun* ( clumsy girl d.ers1 bad lip-syn*]s1 t]rible rapp]s1 & a dumbh1d :o spun plates on a /ick4 ,i slapp$ my h1d4 ,man1 ^? acts 7 .1horrible6 ,!y %d call ! %[ .7,ella ,m5try ,s*ool's ,got ,no ,tal5t.'4 ,x 0 go+ to 2 a c9* = me or "o ( \r gang to w9 ! secret gr& prize4 ,b we _h to sit "? all ! dumb acts4 ,x -----------------------------------#cf 0 tak+ a million hundr$ h\rs4 ,i _h look$ up a few jokes 9 a joke book ,i _h 9 my backpack1 b ,i didn't "k if !y 7 funny or n4 ,i 0 a#cf gett+ n]v\s4 8,next60 %\t$ ,mrs4 ,lane4 ,mi*ael got up on/age & did a magic trick ": he made "s fl[]s pop \ ( 8 sleeve4 ,x 0 cool4 8,want to see me make a c&y b> 4appe>80 ask$ ,mi*ael4 8,sure10 sd ,mrs4 ,lane4 ,mi*ael took a c&y b> \ ( 8 pocket & ate x4 8,see80 he sd4 8,i made x 4appe>60 8,next60 -----------------------------------#cg ,ryan came \4 8,i c communicate ) dolph9s10 he sd4 8,d y h a dolph9 ) y80 ask$ ,mrs4 ,lane4 8,no10 ,ryan sd4 8,i talk ) !m on ! ph"o40 8,next60 -----------------------------------#ch ,x 0 ,emily's turn4 ,%e look$ ev5 m n]v\s ?an me4 8,i wd l to d a d.e f .7,! ,ll #ba ,m]maid.'10 %e sd4 a#ch ,emily />t$ to d.e1 & to tell y ! tru?1 %e wasn't all t bad4 ,b "r 9 ! middle1 %e spun >.d & fell d[n4 ,x's funny :5 p fall d[n4 ,nobody "ks :y4 ,i tri$ n to lau<1 2c x's n nice to lau< :5 p fall d[n4 ,& :5 !y />t cry+1 l ,emily did1 x's n funny at all4 ,mrs4 ,lane came up on/age & put h] >m >.d ,emily4 8,y "k1 ,i fell d[n j l t -----------------------------------#ci :5 ,i 0 on .7,am]ica's ,n ,/upid.'10 %e sd4 8,y did80 ,emily sd1 wip+ h] eyes4 8,:at happ5$80 8,"eybody lau<$ at me10 sd ,mrs4 ,lane4 8,i 0 humiliat$4 ,& ,i mess$ up :5 ,i 0 on .7,>e ,y ,sm>t] ,?an a -----------------------------------#dj ,turnip8.'1 too4 ,x's okay to mess up4 ,we all d x40 ,emily /opp$ cry+4 ,mrs4 ,lane w5t back to h] s1t 9 ! front r[4 8,next60 %e %\t$4 a#dj ,"s kid came \ & burp$ ! :ole alphabet 9 ,,abc ord]4 ,x 0 gross1 b al hil>i\s4 8,next60 ,&rea sang ! 8,tm0 s;g4 ,x 0 totally lame4 8,next60 ,f9ally x 0 my turn4 ,i 0 n]v\s :5 ,i climb$ up on ! /age4 8,i wd l to tell "s jokes10 ,i sd4 8,g ah1d1 ,a4,j410 sd ,mrs4 ,lane4 -----------------------------------#da 8,:y did ! monkey fall \ ( ! tree80 ,i ask$4 8,:y80 "eybody repli$4 8,2c x 0 d1d60 ,i sd4 ,nobody lau<$4 ,i guess ? cr[d doesn't g = d1d-monkey jokes4 ,i tri$ ano!r "o4 8,i l to /udy = te/s "uwat]10 ,i sd4 8,maybe t's :y ,i'm 2l ;,c-level40 ,nobody lau<$4 8,get x80 ,i ask$4 8;,c-level8 ,sea level80 #bc ,maybe ,i %d h te/$ my jokes a#da \ 9 adv.e4 ,my =eh1d 0 />t+ to sw1t4 8,?irty seconds1 ,a4,j410 sd ,mrs4 ,lane4 8,did y "k t ,i h holes 9 -------------------------------#db-#dc my "uwe>80 ,i ask$4 8,well1 h[ else wd ,i get my legs 9to !m80 ,nobody lau<$4 ,i ?"\ ,i he>d ! s.d ( crickets \ 9 ! all-purpose room4 ,? 0 t]rible6 ,usually1 all ,i h to d is say ! ^w 8"uwe>0 & kids />t lau<+4 8,next60 ,:5 "eybody 0 f9i%$1 ,mrs4 ,lane /ood up & gave u a /&+ ova;n4"9 8,i r1lly lov$ yr acts10 %e sd4 8,y'all %d rehe>se z m* z possible "333333 "9 ,well1 ,i guess %e cdn't h giv5 u a /&+ ova;n if %e 0 / sitt+ d[n4 -----------------------------------#dd 2f ! tal5t %[ next week4 ,oh1 2f y g1 ,i h "s news = y'all4 ,"!'s go+ to 2 a surprise gue/ at ! tal5t %[40 8,did y he> t80 ,&rea %\t$4 a#dd 8,"!'s go+ to 2 a surprise gue/ at ! tal5t %[60 8,"!'s go+ to 2 a surprise gue/ at ! tal5t %[60 8,"!'s go+ to 2 a surprise gue/ at ! tal5t %[60 ,9 case y 7 wond]+1 "eybody 0 say+ "! 0 go+ to 2 a surprise gue/ at ! tal5t %[4 8,:o w ! surprise gue/ be80 ask$ ,alexia4 -----------------------------------#de 8,if ,i told y1 x wdn't 2 a surprise10 sd ,mrs4 ,lane4 ,i love surprises1 2c y n"e "k :at's go+ to happ54 ,t's :y !y're call$ surprises4 ,i 0 sure t ! surprise gue/ 0 go+ to 2 ,mr4 ,hynde4 ,he us$ to 2 \r music t1*]1 b !n he made a hit rap record & 2came fam\s4 8,okay1 let's call x a "d10 sd ,mrs4 ,lane4 8,y'all "w on yr acts1 & ,i'll see y'all at rehe>sal tm4 ,2 "h #be at f\r o'clock %>p40 a#de -----------------------------------#df #f ,fanta/ic ,news6 ,i %[$ up ! next "d = rehe>sal at f\r o'clock %>p4 ,! only problem 0 t ,mrs4 ,lane wasn't "!4 8,":'s ,mrs4 ,lane80 8,":'s ,mrs4 ,lane80 8,":'s ,mrs4 ,lane80 ,9 case y 7 wond]+1 "eybody -----------------------------------#dg 0 ask+ ": ,mrs4 ,lane was4 ,we wait$ >.d = a million hundr$ m9utes4 ,"s?+ 0 def9itely wr;g4 8,i hope ,mrs4 ,lane is okay10 sd ,emily1 :o worries ab "ey?+4 ,y'll n"e 2lieve :o walk$ 9to ! door at t mo;t4 ,nobody6 ,x wd hurt if y walk$ 9to a door4 ,b y'll n"e 2lieve :o walk$ 9to ! door.1way4 ,x 0 ,mr4 ,klutz6 8,":'s ,mrs4 ,lane80 we all a#dg ask$ hm4 8,%e's n com+ 9 td10 he told u4 8,i _h to fire h]40 .1,,:at8 8,i'm sorry to tell y ?10 ,mr4 ,klutz -----------------------------------#dh sd1 8b .7,ella ,m5try ,s*ool's ,got ,tal5t.' is c.el$40 8.1,,:at80 "eybody %\t$4 8,i _h no idea h[ m* m"oy x co/s to put on a %[ l t10 sd ,mr4 ,klutz4 8,we ne$ to hire a pr(es.nal lit+ to get excit$ ab ! tal5t %[10 ,ryan sd4 #bg 8,me too10 sd ,mi*ael4 #di ,"eybody 0 sad4 ,we />t$ ga!r+ up \r /uff to g home4 8,i'm sorry1 kids10 ,mr4 ,klutz sd4 8,maybe we'll h a tal5t %[ next ye>40 -----------------------------------#ej ,b y'll n"e 2lieve :o walk$ 9to ! door at t mo;t4 ,nobody6 ,i ?"\ we w5t ov] t alr4 ,mrs4 ,lane came walk+ 9 ! doorway4 ,%e 0 balanc+ a baseball bat on "o foot at ! same "t z %e 0 balanc+ an egg on a spoon 9 h] m\?4 ,x 0 amaz+6 8,i h fanta/ic news1 y'all60 %e %\t$4 8,a company is go+ to sponsor .7,ella ,m5try ,s*ool's ,got ,tal5t.'60 8,yippee60 "eybody %\t$4 8,sponsor80 ,i ask$4 8,:at does .1t m1n80 8,x m1ns !y're go+ to give u ! -----------------------------------#ea m"oy we ne$ to put on ! %[10 sd ,mrs4 ,lane4 8,yippee60 ,i %\t$4 8,:at company80 8,porky's ,pork ,sausages10 a#ea %e told u4 8,i j got (f ! ph"o ) ! [n] ( -----------------------------------#eb ! company1 ,mr4 ,porky40 8,well1 if t's true10 sd ,mr4 ,klutz1 8.7,ella ,m5try ,s*ool's ,got ,tal5t.' w g on z s*$ul$40 8,yippee60 "eybody %\t$4 8,hooray = ,porky's ,pork ,sausages60 8,!y sav$ ! tal5t %[60 8,okay10 sd ,mrs4 ,lane4 8,i'll see y'all at f\r o'clock %>p tm = rehe>sal40 -----------------------------------#ec #g ,:o ,ne$s ,,tv8 ,i %[$ up = rehe>sal at f\r o'clock %>p ! next "d4 ,& guess :at8 ,mrs4 ,lane wasn't "!4 ,ag6 8,":'s ,mrs4 ,lane80 ask$ ,alexia4 8,":'s ,mrs4 ,lane80 ask$ #bi ,neil ! nude kid4 a#ec 8,":'s ,mrs4 ,lane80 ask$ ,mi*ael4 -----------------------------------#ed ,9 case y 7 wond]+1 "eybody 0 ask+ ": ,mrs4 ,lane was4 ,b !n %e came in4 ,%e 0 jump+ on a pogo /ick :ile dri2l+ a basketball & play+ 8,m>y ,_h a ,ll ,lamb0 on a h>monica1 all at ! same "t4 ,x 0 amaz+6 8,i h fanta/ic news60 %e %\t$4 8,>e y r1dy = ?8 ,mr4 ,porky ( ,porky's ,pork ,sausages j told me he's go+ to put .7,ella ,m5try ,s*ool's ,got ,tal5t.' on ,,tv60 ,! girls />t$ scr1m+4 8,,eeeeek6 ,we're gonna 2 on ,,tv60 8,we're gonna 2 on ,,tv60 8,we're gonna 2 on ,,tv60 -----------------------------------#ee ,9 case y 7 wond]+1 all ! girls 7 say+ we 7 gonna 2 on ,,tv4 ,2+ on ,,tv m/ 2 ! grte/ ?+ 9 ! hi/ory ( ! _w4 ,i've se5 -----------------------------------#ef p jump 9to pools full ( mud to get on ,,tv4 ,i've se5 p eat bugs to a#ef get on ,,tv4 ,p w d .1any?+ to get on ,,tv4 ,mr4 ,klutz came runn+ 9 ) ?ree ( ! t1*]s3 ,ms4 ,hannah1 ,mrs4 ,roopy1 & ,miss ,small4 8,we he>d .7,ella ,m5try ,s*ool's ,got ,tal5t.' is go+ to 2 on ,,tv10 %\t$ ,ms4 ,hannah1 \r >t t1*]4 8,c we 2 9 x too8 ,i c make f+] %ad[s ( circus animals40 8,i c play ! nose flute10 sd ,miss ,small1 \r gym t1*]4 8,i c d imp]sona;ns ( nurs]y rhyme "*s10 sd ,mrs4 ,roopy1 \r libr>ian4 -----------------------------------#eg 8,yes1 t1*]s c "picipate10 sd ,mrs4 ,lane4 8,b "!'s "s?+ ,i ne$ to talk to y'all ab4 ,mr4 ,porky has ?ree dem&s t m/ 2 met 2f he agrees to put .7,ella ,m5try ,s*ool's ,got ,tal5t.' on ,,tv40 8,:at >e 8 dem&s80 ask$ ,mr4 ,klutz4 8,well1 f/ ( all10 sd ,mrs4 ,lane1 8he wants a panel ( judges to #ca decide ! w9n] ( ! tal5t %[1 & a#eg he wants to 2 "o ( ! judges40 8,i h no problem ) t10 sd ,mr4 ,klutz4 8,:at >e 8 o!r two dem&s80 8,his second dem& is t he wants e act 9 ! tal5t %[ to m5;n -----------------------------------#eh ,porky's ,pork ,sausages at l1/ once10 sd ,mrs4 ,lane4 8,well 444 okay1 ,i suppose we c d t10 sd ,mr4 ,klutz4 8,af all1 8 company is sponsor+ ! %[40 ,a bun* ( o!r gr[n-ups came runn+ in3 ,mr4 ,dock]1 ,dr4 ,brad1 ,miss ,laz>1 ,mr4 ,macky1 ,ms4 ,coco1 ,ms4 ,l1ky1 & ,mrs4 ,cooney4 8,we he>d t .7,ella ,m5try ,s*ool's ,got ,tal5t.' is go+ to 2 on ,,tv60 yell$ ,mr4 ,dock]1 \r sci;e t1*]4 8,i c recite ! p]iodic table ( ele;ts 9 ord]40"9 8,i c tap d.e10 sd ,ms4 ,coco1 \r gift$ & tal5t$ t1*]4 "333333 "9 ,look x up6 8,i c ?r[ my voice10 "sbody #ei sd1 b we didn't "k :o x 0 2c !y ?rew _! voice4 8,yes1 y'all c 2 9 ! tal5t %[ too10 sd ,mrs4 ,lane4 8,,eeeeek60 scr1m$ \r nurse1 ,mrs4 ,cooney4 8,i ne$ to fix my hair40 8,:y1 is x brok580 ,i ask$4 8,hold on a m9ute10 sd ,mr4 ,klutz4 8,:at is ,mr4 ,porky's .1?ird dem&80 8,oh yes1 "!'s "o m ?+ t ,mr4 ,porky wants 2f he'll put .7,ella ,m5try ,s*ool's ,got ,tal5t.' on ,,tv10 sd ,mrs4 ,lane4 8,he ?9ks x wd 2 m excit+ if ! panel ( judges cd hit a big g;g if !y don't l an act4 ,& if a 3te/ant -----------------------------------#fj gets g;g$1 he or %e gets ?r[n 9to a tank full ( %>ks40 .1,,:at86 ,t's got to 2 ! dumbe/ idea 9 ! hi/ory ( ! _w6 8,is he nuts80 ask$ ,mr4 ,klutz4 8,mr4 ,porky wants to fe$ \r /ud5ts to %>ks80 8,t's bananas60 sd ,ms4 #cc ,hannah4 a#fj 8,t's loopy60 sd ,mrs4 ,roopy4 8,well1 x doesn't .1h to 2 %>ks10 sd ,mrs4 ,lane4 8,x cd be1 oh1 ,i don't "k1 vultures40 8,he wants to fe$ \r /ud5ts to vultures80 ask$ ,mr4 ,klutz4 8,t's (f ! wall60 sd ,miss ,small4 8,t's loony60 sd ,mrs4 ,cooney4 8,t's biz>re60 sd ,miss ,laz>4 -------------------------------#fa-#fb 8,well1 :at if !y 7 ?r[n 9to a pit ( burn+ lava80 ask$ ,mrs4 ,lane4 8,t's wacky60 sd ,mr4 ,macky4 8,t's loco60 sd ,ms4 ,coco4 8,t's fr1ky60 sd ,ms4 ,l1ky4 8,": wd we possibly get a pit ( burn+ lava anyway80 ask$ ,mr4 ,klutz4 8,we cd g to ,r5t-,a-,pit-,(-,burn+-,lava10 sd ,mrs4 ,lane4 8,y c r5t any?+40 8,>e y (f yr rock]80 ask$ ,mr4 ,dock]4 8,h y g"o mad80 ask$ ,dr4 ,brad4 8,t's .1x60 sd ,mr4 ,klutz angrily4 8,i'll give 9 to ,mr4 ,porky's a#fb f/ two dem&s4 ,b n[ ,i've got to draw ! l9e4 ,? is -----------------------------------#fc a s*ool1 n "s silly ,,tv %[4 ,y tell ,mr4 ,porky t we say no4 ,we're go+ to d .7,ella ,m5try ,s*ool's ,got ,tal5t.' )\t hm4 ,we don't c>e :e!r or n x's on ,,tv6 ,:o ne$s ,,tv anyway80 8,y1h1 :o ne$s ,,tv80 8,y1h1 :o ne$s ,,tv80 8,y1h1 :o ne$s ,,tv80 ,9 case y 7 wond]+1 "eybody 0 say+1 8,y1h1 :o ne$s ,,tv80 ,wait a m9ute4 ,i ne$ ,,tv6 -----------------------------------#fd #h ,! ,_w >.d ,me ,9 ! 5d1 ,mr4 ,porky back$ d[n f 8 ?ird dem&4 ,he agre$ to put .7,ella ,m5try ,s*ool's ,got ,tal5t.' on ,,tv ev5 if ! 3te/ants 7 .1n attack$ by %>ks1 vultures1 or burn+ lava4 #ce ,t 0 a relief1 2c ,i 0 sure a#fd to 2 ! "o :o wd get attack$ by -----------------------------------#fe %>ks1 vultures1 or burn+ lava4 ,nobody 0 lau<+ at my jokes at \r la/ rehe>sal4 ,i 0 gett+ r1lly n]v\s4 .7,ella ,m5try ,s*ool's ,got ,tal5t.' 0 ! next nisal4 8,y'"k1 nobody tells pla9 old jokes anymore1 ,a4,j410 %e told me4 8,^! "ds1 com$ians d :at is call$ obs]va;nal humor40 8,:at's .1t80 ,i ask$4 8,!y sort ( obs]ve ! _w >.d !m & talk ab h[ funny x is10 sd ,mrs4 ,lane4 8,maybe y %d try t1 ,a4,j40 -------------------------------#ff-#fg ,i w5t home & obs]v$ ! _w >.d me4 ,b my h\se wasn't v funny4 ,my backy>d wasn't v funny4 ,my b$room wasn't v funny4 ,i didn't h any?+ funny to say4 ,i ?"\ ab x l;g & h>d4 ,i ?"\ ab x s h>d t my bra9 hurt4 ,!n ,i came to my deci.n,-,i 0 go+ to drop \ ( ! a#fg tal5t %[4 ,"sbody else cd w9 ! secret gr& prize4 -----------------------------------#fh #i ,! ,big ,niriv$4 ,ev5 ?\< ,i wasn't go+ to 2 9 ! tal5t %[ anymore1 ,i came to s*ool e>ly & w5t back/age to help \ ) ! lit$ clapp+ & *e]+4 a#fi 8,welcome to .7,ella ,m5try ,s*ool's ,got ,tal5t.'10 ,mr4 ,klutz r1d f a cue c>d4 8,my "n is ,mr4 ,klutz1 ! s*ool pr9cipal4 -----------------------------------#gj ,2f we get to \r amaz+ tal5t1 ,i want to say "o ?+4 ,folks1 d y l pork sausages8 ,i sure d4 ,& :5 ,i want a pork sausage1 ,i r1* = ,porky's ,pork ,sausages4 ,!y're ! be/ pork -----------------------------------#ga sausages 9 ! _w1 made ) ! f9e/ pork & no >tificial 9gr$i5ts4 ,s :5 y want a pork sausage1 r1* = ,porky's40 ,! guy held up ! ,,applause sign ag1 & ,mr4 ,klutz held up a package ( ,porky's ,pork ,sausages4 ,"eybody clapp$ & *e]$4 8,n[ x's "t to ann\nce ! secret gr& prize ( .7,ella ,m5try ,s*ool's ,got ,tal5t.'10 sd ,mr4 ,klutz4 ,"eybody got quiet1 2c !y want$ to "k :at ! secret gr& prize wd be4 8,! w9n] ( \r tal5t %[ w rcv a trophy & 444 a ye>'s supply ( a#ga -----------------------------------#gb ,porky's ,pork ,sausages60 ,! guy held up ! ,,applause sign1 & "eybody clapp$ & *e]$1 :e!r !y lik$ pork sausages or n4 8,n[ x's "t to 9troduce \r panel ( judges10 sd ,mr4 ,klutz4 8,\r f/ judge w 2 444 ,mr4 ,porky1 ! [n] ( ,porky's ,pork ,sausages60 ,a %ort1 fat1 bald guy came \ & wav$ to ! cr[d4 -----------------------------------#gc ,he actually look$ l a ll pig4 8,\r second judge w 2 444 ,mrs4 ,lane60 sd ,mr4 ,klutz4 ,mrs4 ,lane came \ on roll] skates :ile ju7l+ flam+ tor*es4 ,%e is .1r1lly tal5t$4 8,x 0 ,mrs4 ,lane :o put ? :ole %[ tgr10 sd ,mr4 ,klutz4 8,wd y l to say a few ^ws80 ,mrs4 ,lane set h] flam+ tor*es d[n & roll]-skat$ ov] to ! microph"o4 ,b %e didn't say a few ^ws4 ,%e #ci .1sang a few ^ws to ! tune ( a#gc 8,home on ! ,range40 ,x w5t l ?4 444 -----------------------------------#gd 8,oh give me "s pork ) a knife & a =k1 & potatoes t h be5 ,fr5* fri$4 ,x makes a grt lun*1 & ,i'll eat a :ole bun* ) a plate;l ( b1ns on ! side4 ,porky's ,pork ,sausages4 ,i'd r eat !m ?an play4 ,& :5 ,i am d"o1 ,i'll take "o on a bun to br+ home & to eat ! next "d40 ,mrs4 ,lane is a r1lly gd s+]4 ,"eybody clapp$ & *e]$ = h]4 8,& n[ x's "t to 9troduce \r ?ird judge10 sd ,mr4 ,klutz1 8:o j happ5s -----------------------------------#ge to 2 \r surprise celebr;y gue/40 8,x's gonna 2 ,mr4 ,hynde40 8,x's gonna 2 ,mr4 ,hynde40 8,x's gonna 2 ,mr4 ,hynde40 ,9 case y 7 wond]+1 "eybody 0 a#ge say+ x 0 gonna 2 ,mr4 ,hynde4 ,b "eybody 0 wr;g4 ,s nah-nah-nah boo-boo on "eybody4 8,y all "k hm10 sd ,mr4 ,klutz4 8,y all love hm4 ,put yr h&s tgr = ? ye>'s hotte/ "y rap s5sa;n 444 ,cray-;,z60 .1,,:at86 ,cray-;,z is ! coole/ kid 9 ! hi/ory ( ! _w6 ,a few mon?s ago he came \ ) ? rap s;g call$ 8,! ,*ri/mas -----------------------------------#gf ,klepto10 & x 0 all ov] ! radio1 ,,tv1 ,y\,tube1 magaz9es1 .1"ey":4 ,he's a sup]/>6 8,,eeeeeeek60 ,all ! girls />t$ scr1m+1 fa9t+1 & fr1k+ \4 8,i love hm60 "s girl %\t$4 8,m>ry me1 ,cray-;,z60 -----------------------------------#gg 8,t's "r10 sd ,mr4 ,klutz4 8,cray-;,z is 9 ! h\se60 ,"eybody w5t nuts :5 ,cray-;,z came \ f ! back ( ! all-purpose room4 ,he 0 hi<-fiv+ kids & sign+ #da autographs4 a#gg ,! ?ree judges sat at a table 9 front ( ! /age4 ,mr4 ,klutz expla9$ ! rules4 444 8,ea* * blah blah blah blah two m9utes blah blah blah blah at ! 5d blah blah blah blah pl1se d n take fla% pictures blah blah blah blah \r judges w decide blah blah blah blah blah 4440 ,he w5t on = ab a million hundr$ -----------------------------------#gh h\rs4 ,nobody 0 pay+ att5;n4 8,okay1 ? is ! mo;t y've all be5 wait+ =10 sd ,mr4 ,klutz4 8,x's "t to br+ on ! tal5t6 ,t is1 "r af ? %ort message ab ,porky's ,pork ,sausages 4440 -----------------------------------#gi #aj ,awe"s-nific5t ,we _h to sit "? a bor+ comm]cial t expla9$ :y ,porky's ,pork ,sausages 7 ! be/ pork sausages 9 ! _w4 ,!n a#gi ,mrs4 ,lane 9troduc$ ! acts1 "o at a "t4 ,f/1 "s boy came \ & "nd all ! presid5ts ( ! ,unit$ ,/ates 9 ord] -----------------------------------#hj to ! tune ( 8,yankee ,doodle40 ,9/1d ( ,james ,polk1 he sd 8,james ,pork40 ,!n "s girl came \ & wi7l$ h] e>s :ile %e op5$ pi/a*io nuts 9side h] m\? )\t us+ h] h&s4 ,t 0 weird4 ,af t five boys came \ & bang$ on "s g>bage cans :ile %\t+ \ ! ^w 8pork40 ,i guess !y cdn't ?9k ( any?+ else to d4 ,x 0 ,alexia's turn4 ,%e came \ ) h] skatebo>d1 & we all gave h] a big r.d ( applause4 ,alexia is awe"s on a skatebo>d4 ,%e did a bun* ( cool tricks4 8,i call ? next trick ! ,sausage10 %e sd4 -----------------------------------#ha ,!n %e did a h&/& on h] skatebo>d4 ,x 0 cool1 & %e got m applause4 #dc 8,t's wond];l60 sd ,mrs4 a#ha ,lane4 ,mrs4 ,lane 9troduc$ ,&rea next1 & ,ll ,miss ,"k-,x-,all sang t aw;l 8,tm0 s;g4 ,b 9/1d ( s++ ab ! sun com+ \ tm1 %e -----------------------------------#hb sang1 8,! pork w come \ 444 tm40 ,x 0 emb>rass+4 ,too bad ,&rea wasn't ?r[n 9to a tank full ( %>ks4 ,"! 7 a few m lame acts1 & !n ,ryan came \ & ate a *ocolate-cov]$ grasshopp]4 ,u<1 gross6 ,emily did h] d.e f .7,! ,ll ,m]maid.'1 & ? "t %e didn't fall d[n4 ,neil -----------------------------------#hc ! nude kid play$ ! viol94 8,fanta/ic60 sd ,mrs4 ,lane af ea* act4 ,next1 a bun* ( \r t1*]s came \ 9 giant hot dog bun co/umes & put on a skit ab sausages4 8,t 0 amaz+60 sd ,mrs4 ,lane4 8,next up1 we h a ?ird grad] 9 ,mr4 ,granite's class :o is go+ to d magic = u4 ,put yr h&s tgr = 444 a#hc ,mi*ael ! ,awe"s-nific5t60 ,we all *e]$1 ev5 ?\< 8awe"s-nific5t0 is totally n a ^w4 ,mi*ael made x up by putt+ 8awe"s0 & 8magnific5t0 toge!r4"9 "333333 "9 ,i told hm x %d 2 8magnif-awe"s10 b he wdn't li/5 to me4 -----------------------------------#hd ,he came \ we>+ a black tux$o4 ,he look$ l a p5gu94 8,?ank y10 ,mi*ael sd4 8,wat* me /& on my h1d60 ,he drew a big picture ( a face on a piece ( pap]1 put x on ! floor1 & /epp$ on x4 ,"eybody lau<$4 -----------------------------------#he 8,x's magic60 sd ,mi*ael4 8,i w n[ make ? p+-p;g ball defy ! laws ( grav;y40 ,he /ood 2h a desk & made ! p+-p;g ball float 9 ! air abv x4 ,x 0 cool1 ev5 ?\< x 0 obvi\s t ,mi*ael 0 #de hold+ a hair dry] "u ! desk4 a#he 8,x's magic60 ,mi*ael sd :ile "ey"o clapp$4 8,y "k1 ,porky's ,pork ,sausages come f pigs4 ,s ,i w n[ make a pig 4appe>40 ,mi*ael held up a big r$ clo? & wav$ x >.d4 ,!n he pull$ x away l a bullfi10 "s kid 9 ! cr[d yell$4 8,sure ,i did10 ,mi*ael sd4 8,x 0 an .19visible pig40 ,he took a deep b[1 & !n ,mrs4 ,lane roll]-skat$ \ on ! /age ag4 8,let's he> x = ,mi*ael ! ,awe"s-nific5t60 %e sd4 8,okay1 \r next tal5t$ p]=m] is .1ano!r ?ird grad] f ,mr4 ,granite's class4 ,let's give hm a w>m welcome4 ,sit back & 5joy ! com$y /yl+s ( 444 ,a4,j460 .1,,:at86 #aa #hg ,murd] at ! ,tal5t ,%[ ,i ?"\ ,i 0 gonna die4 8,x's yr turn1 dude10 ,alexia sd to me back/age4 8,get \ "!40 8,b ,i'm n .19 ! tal5t %[ anymore60 ,i told h]4 8,i dropp$ \40 ,! audi;e 0 clapp+ _! h&s4 ,mrs4 ,lane look$ ov] at me4 -----------------------------------#hh 8,"o m "t10 %e ann\nc$4 8,sit back & 5joy ! com$y /yl+s ( ,a4,j460 ,i want$ to run away to ,ant>ctica & g live ) ! p5gu9s4 ,mrs4 ,lane roll]-skat$ ov] to me4 8,:at's ! matt]80 %e ask$4 8,i don't h an act10 ,i told h]4 8,i dropp$ \40 8,y n"e told me y 7 dropp+ \10 %e sd4 8,i =got40 ,9 ! audi;e1 p 7 /amp+ _! feet & *ant+1 8,,,a4j46 a4j46 a4j46,'0 8,!y want y1 ,a4,j460 sd ,mrs4 #dg ,lane4 8,y c't let 'em d[n40 a#hh -----------------------------------#hi 8,y he>d my jokes10 ,i told h]4 8,!y 7 t]rible4 ,i'm afraid to g \ "!40 ,mrs4 ,lane got d[n on "o knee & put h] >m >.d me4 8,y "k :at80 %e sd4 8,:5 ,i 0 on .7,>e ,y ,sm>t] ,?an a ,turnip8.'1 ,i 0 afraid to g \ "!4 ,:5 ,i 0 on .7,am]ica's ,n ,/upid.'1 ,i 0 afraid to g \ "!4 ,i 0 afraid to g \ "! :5 ,i 0 on .7,am]ica's ,next ,top ,g>bage ,collector1 ,keep+ ,up ) ! ,libr>ians.'1 & .7,:o ,wants to ,w9 a ,million ,pizzas.'1 too4 ,b y "k :at8 ,i w5t \ "! anyway40 8,& y won80 ,i ask$4 8,no1 ,i lo/ on e "o ( ^? %[s10 -----------------------------------#ij %e told me4 8,b .1y'all >e go+ to 2 a />4 ,n[ g \ "! & kill 'em60 8,kill 'em80 ,i ask$4 8,i don't want to kill anybody40 8,no1 no10 ,mrs4 ,lane sd4 8,:5 a com$ian makes ! audi;e lau<1 !y say he kill$ !m4 ,& :5 nobody lau.d at all ! p4 ,!y 7 all look+ back at me4 ,i didn't "k :at to say4 ,i didn't "k :at to d4 ,i _h to ?9k fa/4 8,uh 444 hi "eybody10 ,i sd1 tapp+ ! microph"o to make sure x "w$4 8,hi60 ! :ole audi;e repli$4 8,i 444 uh 444 ,i'm n suppos$ to 2 "h40 ,"eybody lau<$ ev5 ?\< ,i didn't say any?+ funny4 8,? is weird10 ,i sd4 8,:at's weird80 "sbody holl]$4 8.1,"ey?+10 ,i sd4 8,! s*ool4 #di ,! t1*]s4 ,! all-purpose room4 a#ia ,hey1 :y d !y call x ! all-purpose room -----------------------------------#ib anyway8 ,x c't 2 us$ = .1all purposes4 ,i m1n1 y c't g skydiv+ 9 "h40 ,"s p actually lau<$ at t6 ,i look$ >.d ! audi;e & saw ,mr4 -----------------------------------#ic ,klutz 9 ! second r[4 8,y "k :at's .1r1lly weird80 ,i ask$4 8,mr4 ,klutz1 \r pr9cipal4 ,he's got no hair at all4 ,i m1n .1n"o6 ,:at's up ) .1t60 ,mr4 ,klutz ?rew back 8 h1d & lau<$4 ,"sbody put a spotlie60 ,i sd1 cov]+ my eyes4 ,"eybody lau<$4 8,mr4 ,klutz m/ save a lot ( m"oy on %ampoo & combs4 ,!y %d use 8 h1d to b\nce ,,tv signals 9to \t] space40 ,"eybody 0 crack+ up4 ,i look$ back/age4 ,! :ole gang 0 2h ! curta9 giv+ me ! ?umbs-up sign4 8,mr4 ,klutz is nuts60 ,i #id 3t9u$4 8,rememb] ! "t he got 8 foot cau$ & cdn't g up or d[n4 ,s \r cu/odian1 ,miss ,laz>1 w5t up on ! ro( ) a toilet b[l -----------------------------------#ie plung]4 ,%e /uck x on 8 bald h1d & l[]$ hm to ! gr.d4 ,miss ,laz> %d get ! ,no ,bell ,prize1 if y ask me4 ,t's a prize !y give \ to p :o don't h bells40 ,! audi;e 0 eat+ x up6 8,y rock1 ,a4,j460 "sbody %\t$4 ,i told a few m /ories ab ! weird ?+s gr[n-ups h d"o at \r s*ool4 #ea ,l ! "t \r gr.dskeep]1 ,mr4 a#ie ,burke1 4cov]$ gold buri$ 9 ! playgr.d4 ,& ! "t \r secur;y gu>d1 ,(fic] ,sp;e1 ?rew all ! t1*]s 9 jail = /1l+ p1nut butt] & jelly s&wi*es4 ,:5 ,i cdn't ?9k ( o!r weird -----------------------------------#if /ories to tell1 ,i look$ ov] at ,mrs4 ,lane4 8,keep go+60 %e sd4 ,i notic$ ,mr4 ,porky at ! judges' table4 ,he _h an angry look on 8 face4 ,t's :5 ,i rememb]$ t e act _h to m5;n pork sausages4 8,"!'s j "o m ?+ ,i want to say10 ,i sd4 8,i love ,porky's ,pork ,sausages60 ,i ran (f ! /age1 & "eybody hu7$ me4 ,x 0 ! grte/ nie totally go+ to w9 ? ?+1 dude10 sd ,alexia4 8,y 7 awe"s40 -------------------------------#ih-#ii ,2f t cd happ51 we _h to h ! big gr& f9ale4 ,"eybody :o 0 "p ( ! %[,-kids1 t1*]s1 judges1 ! /age crew,-came \ on/age4 ,we all sang ! ,porky's ,pork ,sausages !me s;g4 ,x 0 l\d6 ,"s ( ! t1*]s 7 danc+4 ,! cr[d 0 clapp+ & /amp+ _! feet4 ,cray-;,z 0 play+ b;gos on ,mr4 ,klutz's h1d4 ,x 0 cool4 ,& x 0 ov]4 ,mr4 ,klutz made ! %ut-up p1ce sign & ask$ ,mr4 ,porky to come ov] to ! microph"o4 ,he _h a trophy 9 "o h& & an 5velope 9 8 o!r h&4 8,?ank y60 ,mr4 ,porky sd4 8,? has #ec be5 a wond];l ev5+4 ,x's cle> t #ajj y h a lot ( tal5t "h at ,ella ,m5try ,s*ool1 & y all love ,porky's ,pork ,sausages4 ,b n[ x's "t to ann\nce ! w9n] ( .7,ella ,m5try ,s*ool's ,got ,tal5t.'40 ,i hope ,i w94 ,i hope ,i w94 ,i hope ,i w94 ,i hope ,i w94 ,i hope ,i w94 8,! w9n] is 4440 ,"eybody got quiet z ,mr4 ,porky tore op5 ! 5velope4 ,y cd h he>d a p9 drop 9 ! all-purpose room4 ,well1 t is if anybody _h p9s ) !m4 ,b :y wd anybody br+ p9s to a tal5t %[8 ,t wd 2 weird4 ,anyway1 "! 0 electric;y 9 ! air4 ,well1 n r1lly1 2c if "! 0 ----------------------------------#aja electric;y 9 ! air1 we all wd h be5 electrocut$4 ,:at ,i m1n to say is1 "eybody 9 ! audi;e 0 on p9s & ne$les4 ,well1 n r1lly4 ,!y 7 sitt+ on s1ts4 ,x wd h hurt if !y 7 on p9s & ne$les4 ,i bet y're dy+ to "k :o won a#aja ! tal5t %[1 >5't y8 ,well1 ,i'm n go+ to tell y4 ,okay1 okay1 ,i'll tell y4 8,! w9n] is 44410 sd ,mr4 ,porky1 8,mrs4 ,p5ny ,lane60 .1,,:at68 8,b %e's "o ( ! judges60 ,ryan %\t$4 ----------------------------------#ajb 8,t's n fair60 %\t$ ,mi*ael4 ,"eybody />t$ yell+1 scr1m+1 & fr1k+ \4 ,mrs4 ,lane _h a big smile on h] face z %e roll]-skat$ ov] to get h] prize4 8,! tal5t %[ 0 suppos$ to 2 = kids60 compla9$ ,&rea4 8,gr[n-ups c't w960 8,says :o80 sd ,mrs4 ,lane z %e gra2$ ! trophy4 8,gimme t60 8,,boooooooooo60 8,my dau5ts 9 ! audi;e4 8,mrs4 ,lane is a fraud60 8,%e m/ h made a secret d1l ) ,mr4 ,porky60 "sbody else %\t$4 #ee 8,t's ! only r1son %e won60 #ajc ,:at a scam4 ,mrs4 ,lane took ! microph"o4 8,i'd l to ?ank all ! ll p :o made ? possible10 %e sd4 8,i 0 ! los] on .7,>e ,y ,sm>t] ,?an a ,turnip8.' ,i 0 ! los] on .7,am]ica's ,n ,/upid.'4 ,& ,i 0 ! los] on .7,keep+ ,up ) ! ,libr>ians.' & .7,am]ica's ,next ,top ,g>bage ,collector.' & .7,:o ,wants to ,w9 a ,million ,pizzas8.' & .1,"ucov] .1,"m4 ,b tn ,i'm ! w9n]1 :e!r y l x or n60 8,! tal5t %[ 0 fix$60 %\t$ "o ( ! p>5ts4 8,/op h]60 8,run = x1 ,p5ny60 %\t$ ,mr4 ,porky4 ----------------------------------#ajd ,a bun* ( angry p>5ts got up f _! s1ts & came *>g+ t[>d ! /age4 ,mrs4 ,lane roll]-skat$ t[>d ! exit door1 gra2+ a box ( pork sausages on h] way \4 ,& t 0 ! la/ we "e saw ( h]4 ----------------------------------#aje "9 "9 "9 ,maybe ! p>5ts w cat* up ) a#aje ,mrs4 ,lane & take ! trophy away f h]4 ,maybe we'll h ano!r tal5t %[ next ye>4 ,maybe ,mr4 ,klutz w /op hid+ 9 ! bu%es4 ,maybe ,mrs4 ,lane w /op say+ 8y'all0 & turn+ h] eyelids 9side \4 ,maybe ,mrs4 ,cooney w fix h] brok5 hair4 ,maybe p w /op 4crim9at+ ag/ di6]5t k9ds ( f>ts4 ,maybe ,mr4 ,porky w get attack$ by %>ks1 vultures1 or burn+ lava4 ,maybe ,&rea w f9ally /op s++ s;gs f .1,annie4 ,maybe we'll get "s free pork sausages4 ,maybe p w /op eat+ bugs to get on ,,tv4 ,maybe ,mi*ael ----------------------------------#ajf w make a pig 4appe>4 ,maybe monkeys w /op dropp+ d1d & fall+ \ ( trees4 ,maybe !y'll use ,mr4 ,klutz's h1d to b\nce ,,tv signals 9to \t] space4 ,maybe p w /op runn+ 9to doors4 ,maybe we'll get to skydive 9 ! all-purpose room4 ,b x won't 2 easy6 @.<,! ,5d@.> #eg